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So anyway,
Because what the Net really needs is another person sharing his uninformed views
Twitterball 8: Holly's third tit 
9th-May-2012 12:40 pm
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This week on my Twitter feed I was online during both parts of The Voice so you would have been subjected to all my opinions on how it's totally not like The X Factor in any way, except for the ways that it is. Plus I had a cold, so you got me complaining about that as well.

Dear Marina & the Diamonds: I don't know if you've noticed, but your roots are showing.
10:08 AM - 2 May 12 via txt

A young man in tighty whities? Who on earth could they be trying to appeal to? #intervaltweets
8:24 PM - 2 May 12 via txt

Ugh. This constantly-changing weather has given me my first cold in ages.
5:30 PM - 3 May 12 via TweetDeck

TRUFAX: The Aldwych Theatre toilets were designed by a man who never actually went to the toilet himself, and didn't know what they were for
7:14 PM - 3 May 12 via trill

Is Tom Chambers *meant* to be doing a Groucho Marx impression? #intervaltweets
8:46 PM - 3 May 12 via txt

@emslj Someone I knew at Uni went to school with Ronnie O'S. His full, considered verdict: "Always had his cock out."
9:45 PM - 4 May 12 via TweetDeck

Does #thevoice theme music have a half-hearted singing bit that goes "this is the voice!?!" Because if so, they needn't have bothered.
7:13 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

Is Jessie J actually in yellowface? #thevoice #racism
7:15 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

"Sammy Davis Jr said I was the greatest voice of my generation. Lovely fella, from Glamorgan, used to wear denim." #thevoice
7:16 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

"My hair WHICH IS DEAD!" #thevoice
7:17 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

"People are seeing more of your voice" Jessie in "getting the five senses mixed up" shocka. #thevoice
7:22 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

"Are you happy with those comments?" "Comments? William just made bleeping noises." #thevoice
7:23 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

Max on first from his team, does that mean he's considered most disposable? He'd better get his kit off soon then or I'll be irate #thevoice
7:26 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

"What's not to like about working with Danny?" Judging by the sweat patches, the smell. #thevoice
7:26 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

Struggling with a Cheryl Cole song. A CHERYL COLE SONG. #thevoice
7:35 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

"There's things in an 18-year-old that come out." THIS IS NOT THE TIME OR PLACE TO TALK ABOUT WET DREAMS TOM! #thevoice
7:38 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

"I like switch-ups but you forgot to go Dirty Bit." #thevoice
7:46 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

I assume Jessie's acts will all have no staging or costume gimmicks whatsoever then? #thevoice
7:48 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

I assume the chairs have the coaches' names on them for when the audience forgets who Danny is. #thevoice
7:53 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

Shame about the faulty SatNav that led the tune to a completely different TV studio. #thevoice
7:54 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

"Vince produced that himself." In the way that a toddler proudly produces a turd to impress guests. #thevoice
7:55 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

"I completely forgot about Elvis' version. Because that one had a different tune and different words." #thevoice
7:56 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

"Vince, in your trousers, get yourself off." FILTH! #thevoice
7:58 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

"I want to show he's not just R'n'B so he'll be singing Paradise. In an R'n'B arrangement." #thevoice
8:08 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

Yikes, look at the height difference. Cassius' head is Holly's third tit. #thevoice
8:09 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

"Art is the only justification for pain." Good, because I'd like to cause you pain, and call it art. #thevoice
8:31 PM - 5 May 12 via TweetDeck

Face still sore from my cold but shaved today anyway - beards are something that happens to me when I'm not paying attention.
11:06 AM - 6 May 12 via TweetDeck

Anyone else Othelloing this afternoon?
12:56 PM - 6 May 12 via trill

"this production of Othello contains strong language." I hope it's "bodkin." I know it's not a swear, but it sounds FILTHY.
1:20 PM - 6 May 12 via trill

@Weez Kriss Kross will make you Madrigal.
1:26 PM - 6 May 12 via trill

"I'm giving you Team Will!" Oh, thanks. Did you keep the receipt? #thevoice
7:18 PM - 6 May 12 via TweetDeck

So, Max has no chance of surviving that bus they threw him under, has he? #thevoice
7:21 PM - 6 May 12 via TweetDeck

"Showing us what they're made of, it's Team Tom." We know what they're made of. They're made of DECIBELS. #thevoice
7:28 PM - 6 May 12 via TweetDeck

"Tom's like a Godfather to me. Seriously, I was shitting myself when that horse's head turned up in my bed." #thevoice
7:31 PM - 6 May 12 via TweetDeck

Shock as viewers vote for another Leon Jackson and Matt Cardle. OH THE RECORDS THEY'LL SELL! #thevoice
7:36 PM - 6 May 12 via TweetDeck

"Toni, you're amazing, you can do so much, you impress me every time. Ruth-Ann... you're 18." #thevoice
7:37 PM - 6 May 12 via TweetDeck

"Nobody from any team deserves to be knocked out." Danny's really not worked out how reality TV works yet, has he?" #thevoice
7:45 PM - 6 May 12 via TweetDeck

"Being your mentor." COACH, DANNY, NOT MENTOR! COACH! THIS IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT TO X FACTOR! #thevoice
7:45 PM - 6 May 12 via TweetDeck

"I've sung for the Queen." See, it's calling Danny that, that made him not pick you. #thevoice
7:48 PM - 6 May 12 via TweetDeck

Totty Bank Holiday Monday: Beardy Edition.
12:51 PM - 7 May 12 via txt

Sleb Spot: Terry Gilliam at the Arcola *is stomped by enormous foot*
7:46 PM - 8 May 12 via txt
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