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So anyway,
Because what the Net really needs is another person sharing his uninformed views
Twitterball 28: Kind Hearts And Coronets 
26th-Sep-2012 01:53 pm
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This week on my Twitter feed, the horror of X Factor live-tweeting returns, I get the vapours when I walk past Joe McFadden, and a bit of scary family news to end on (but fortunately it turned out not to be as serious as feared.)

Is it "suddenly stop dead in your tracks in the middle of a busy tube station" day?
10:00 PM - 20 Sep 12

@3rdspearcarrier Twice in the course of about a minute at Notting Hill Gate. One guy PUSHED BY to get to the escalator, then didn't get on.
10:19 PM - 20 Sep 12

Bah! I was quite happy to give the Bush a wide berth after the last season but a new DC Moore? Obviously I'll be going to that.
11:34 PM - 20 Sep 12

The RSC have sent me a letter asking me to remember them in my will. I'M 37. DO THEY KNOW SOMETHING THAT I DON'T?
4:04 PM - 21 Sep 12

@3rdspearcarrier That's it, I'm locking myself in and getting a shotgun before the RSC goes all Kind Hearts And Coronets on its members.
4:22 PM - 21 Sep 12

I think I was VERY CLEAR about which Voice contestant I wanted to see disrobe on stage, and it wasn't Buttery Biscuit.
11:02 PM - 21 Sep 12

Pirate Spot: Jessie Sidegob watching The Busy Body & getting mauled by the cast.
6:02 PM - 22 Sep 12

Don't bother reading my Busy Body review, just go see it instead. I went to the matinee and my face still hurts from laughing.
9:59 PM - 22 Sep 12

"It's a diva hoedown." Spoken by people who don't know what the word hoedown means. Or the word diva. #xfactor
1:10 PM - 23 Sep 12

Oh Chocolate Factory, with your size zero seats and size 18 audiences.
3:23 PM - 23 Sep 12

Some big hits of the past really should stay there #intervaltweets
4:25 PM - 23 Sep 12

People next to me don't quite get how stage sets work. "Was that fireplace there at the last show we saw here?"
4:30 PM - 23 Sep 12

Sleb Spot: Joe McFadden at the Menier #thevapours
5:13 PM - 23 Sep 12

@MrAlFox don't make me think of his Torch Song getup. I might walk past him again, things could get awkward.
5:24 PM - 23 Sep 12

@michael456789 pfft, as if I'd actually look him in the eye. Do I *want* to dribble in public?
6:15 PM - 23 Sep 12

Jahmene's sob story must have been weak even by this year's standards if he needed to have a funny turn as well #xfactor
7:58 PM - 23 Sep 12

I notice it's the "over 28s" again this year. Did we miss Louis telling Shitsinger "er, it's just the way it is" again? #xfactor
1 RETWEET
8:04 PM - 23 Sep 12

I hope judges' houses also get a crowd of baying imbeciles who wet themselves when an attractive pub singer gets a note right #xfactor
8:19 PM - 23 Sep 12

Nice plug there for a single by two Voice judges. D'OH! #xfactor
8:27 PM - 23 Sep 12

"If I had a top five of most annoying songs ever, I would have written four of them." #xfactor
8:32 PM - 23 Sep 12

Still, a tedious acoustic "Believe" is a first: An #xfactor audition with *less* autotune than the original.
8:34 PM - 23 Sep 12

"The first thing I do in the morning is sing. The last thing I do at night is sing. My neighbour's having a nervous breakdown." #xfactor
1 RETWEET
8:35 PM - 23 Sep 12

Rylan's crying: Slightly more coherent than James' singing. #xfactor
8:37 PM - 23 Sep 12

"We'll go with the group with a Resentful Erection lookalike. Hey, we know what works." #xfactor
8:53 PM - 23 Sep 12

"Tulisa, you're getting the girls. We couldn't risk giving you anyone with a cock, you might slap it around your face." #xfactor
1 RETWEET
8:56 PM - 23 Sep 12

"She's back!" Not Sinitta, not interested. #xfactor
8:59 PM - 23 Sep 12

Pfft. Call that a budgie murder? #straightthroughnointervaltweets
9:38 PM - 24 Sep 12

Mum taken to hospital in mini-Stroke scare. Sounds like drs not too worried fortunately but still, bit of a scare.
7:04 PM - 25 Sep 12
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