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So anyway,
Because what the Net really needs is another person sharing his uninformed views
Recent Entries 
12th-Nov-2012 01:11 pm - The Sheeran-noyance Factor
Last week on The X Factor: People twiddled knobs and walked through corridors and counted down! There was also some singing but frankly the less said about that the better so let’s look at the production crew instead! This week! The term “Best of British” will be misappropriated! I for one am excited to see whether the theme is missed by the usual miles and miles, with “British” hits from American, Australian and Martian artists, or the more subtle brand of missing the point, like choosing songs from the Irish Republic and offending as many people as possible. Or will it just be the word “best” that’s wildly misused?

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11th-Nov-2012 10:44 am - The Dark Shard
This week's Merlin, “The Dark Tower,” features the Knights of the Round Table going on a quest to a tower that may or may not actually be there, surrounded by a dusty plain filled with bones, led there by riddles. I wasn’t the only one waiting for the deadly killer rabbit to show up, was I? Spoilers for ‘The Dark Tower’Collapse )
9th-Nov-2012 04:27 pm - Book review: The Song of Achilles
Madeline Miller's The Song of Achilles has been one of those books everyone seems to be reading and raving about; the Iliad retold from the point of view of Achilles' lover Patroclus. I found the book decent but not spectacular - knowing the story already I was interested to see how having Patroclus as the narrator would pan out for the way the story ends, and actually I did like the way Miller chose to end her narrative.

But considering the love affair between the two men is the central story of the book I was never convinced in them as a couple, Patroclus' love seems to mainly stem from his swooning over how hot Achilles is, while what Achilles sees in him is a bit of a mystery. And the fact that, with very few exceptions, the other characters in the story are painted in pretty broad shades of villain, got pretty tiring after a while. I wasn't bored by the book per se, and it's nice to have something bring to wider attention the fact that this gay love story is canonical to Greek myth, but I wasn't gripped either, and not convinced - the gods and magic of the story are easier to suspend disbelief for than the relationships.
This week on my Twitter feed, Twitter continues to be my main way of entertaining myself when in Stratford-upon-Avon and waiting for a play to start.

Is there a drag queen called Nicki Minge yet? And if not, why not?
12:43 PM - 1 Nov 12

Um, I may have to make multiple visits to this. And possibly take a sketchbook. http://www.officiallondontheatre.co.uk/news/latest-news/article/item160994/grandage-reveals-privates-casting/ … via @O_L_T
11:21 AM - 2 Nov 12

There's also the little matter of THIS. http://twitpic.com/b9lskw
11:22 AM - 2 Nov 12

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This week's episode of Merlin is all set up by the tragic death of Sir Ranulph. No, you totally remember him, right, Arthur's known him since childhood so he's bound to have cropped up at some point in the last four-and-a-bit series. It's just eluding me right now for some mysterious reason.

Spoilers for 'The Disir'Collapse )
5th-Nov-2012 11:58 am - Kettled
Just a snippet of a dream from last night, but slightly too long to tweet: One of those third-person dreams that's like watching a film, this one was a story about a criminal gang who'd never heard of an electric kettle before. On finally hearing that such a thing exists, they began planning an elaborate heist to break into the house of someone who might own a kettle, and steal it.
4th-Nov-2012 10:06 pm - The Tajikistan Factor
So, this thing’s still going on. We’re halfway through this year’s X Factor - where has the time gone? asks Dermot. I don’t know, but wherever it’s gone it’s gone slowly. Dermot hasn’t bothered with the dance of heterosexuality this week, and is going straight to the sports mimes – I dunno, it’s squash, maybe? Obviously I won’t be doing jokes about Lucy leaving the competition given the rumours about the real reasons behind it, but I’m sure everyone who’s left will provide plenty of food for mockery. As will the week’s theme, which is “Number Ones.” Traditionally this is taken to mean “any song that’s been Number One anywhere in the world” but that was a bit of a silly definition. So now it’s been changed to “any song that’s been Number One, or indeed charted in any position whatsoever, or not, anywhere in the world.” So, you spent a week at number 11 in Tajikistan? Come on in! If anything, number 11 is even more on-theme, because it’s got twice as many ones in it.

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This week on my Twitter feed I conform to stereotype by almost exclusively tweeting about theatre news. In the unlikely event that any non-theatre geeks follow me, I can only apologise.

Seriously, there's another National Theatre booking period opening in a fortnight? Didn't we just have the last one?
6:36 PM - 24 Oct 12

My theatre diary for March 2013 is already pretty packed #madness
11:48 AM - 25 Oct 12

Paul Ready & Michelle Terry both cast in Republic of Happiness. I take it they're still a thing then 'cause if not that would be... awkward.
11:55 AM - 25 Oct 12

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28th-Oct-2012 10:20 pm - The Your Mum Factor
It’s Fright Night! Oh god, are scary things in store? Is this week’s X Factor going to consist entirely of close-ups of Christopher’s face? No, it’s the annual Halloween “special,” and Dermot’s Dance of Heterosexuality features “Thriller” and devil-horns on him and the dancers. It looks like a hen night in Taunton. Dermot’s the bride. Apparently it’s a Halloween extravaganza, which is a bit of an optimistic claim for a show that rarely manages to provide even the minimum required amount of vaganza. Here are the judges: Louis appears to be in a velour suit, Toula CONTOSTAVLOU has fangs, Nicole Shitsinger has come as Elvira in a see-through catsuit and enormous mane of hare (and there’s quite a lot of it on her head as well AHAHAHAHAHA) and Gary Barlow is doing an impression of Diana Vickers.

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28th-Oct-2012 11:27 am - The tooth will out
Well, we had three half-decent Merlin episodes in a row I guess, Spoilers for 'Another's Sorrow'Collapse )
25th-Oct-2012 01:48 pm - Book review: Out of Oz
Out of Oz is Gregory Maguire's fourth and final volume of The Wicked Years, the fantasy series that spins off from The Wizard of Oz, and began with the musical-spawning Wicked. The original book retold the familiar story from the point of view of Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, and was a clever idea well-told. Following its success, I felt the second and third books, which took up the stories of her son Liir and the Cowardly Lion Brr respectively, came across a bit like cash-ins, stories that didn't necessarily need to be told. Out of Oz takes things full circle to another green-skinned girl, Elphaba's granddaughter Rain. The final volume is quite epic in scope but feels much more sure-footed than the middle sections of the sequence. Rain variously comes under the protection of Glinda, Liir, Brr and other characters from the series in a political fable that takes in a war between Oz and Munchkinland, and after a couple of wobbles in the last two books this one ends the series satisfyingly.
24th-Oct-2012 07:10 pm - Daddy issues
Two TV shows of his own to write but Howard Overman keeps coming back to Merlin; Spoilers for 'The Death Song of Uther Pendragon'Collapse )
24th-Oct-2012 12:34 pm - Twitterball 32: Giving a cat a bath
This week on my Twitter feed was largely about the Great British Bake-Off.

Avoiding Twitter and staying up till 1am so I don't get spoiled for who wins a baking contest: Normal behaviour. #gbbo
1:01 AM - 17 Oct 12

Also, yay, I'd been hoping for that result, although it didn't seem likely going in to the final. #gbbo
1:01 AM - 17 Oct 12

Just listened to today's Fags Mags & Bags - Rachel Adedeji joke <3
5:47 PM - 17 Oct 12

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23rd-Oct-2012 02:44 pm - The Urban Roots Factor
Running behind with the TV reviews this week after I ended up seeing more theatre than expected on Saturday night then was out most of Sunday. So I ended up watching the X Factor results show before I’d actually caught up with the performance show, and the recap sections became a sort of terrifying harbinger of terrors yet to come. Well, here goes.

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This week on my Twitter feed is one of those where I spend a day in Stratford-upon-Avon, and tweet every thought I have in an attempt to keep myself entertained.

Oh good, the #lympics banners have finally been taken down. Was getting tired of the constant reminders that it's all over.
9:07 AM - 10 Oct 12

I had a feeling we'd get an all-male Bake-Off final. It's like an all-female Apprentice final, PROPER MODERN #gbbo
3:52 PM - 10 Oct 12

@pretinama the John/James slash writers need their inspiration from somewhere.
7:24 PM - 10 Oct 12

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14th-Oct-2012 10:06 pm - The People's Vote Factor
Last week on The X Factor, stuff went daaaaaahn that meant Gary and Louis can’t look each other in the face or talk to each other anymore. No, not the most horrific sexual pairing you could conceive of, just a schadenfreude-tastic end to Carolynne off Fame Academy’s latest attempt to convince the British public they give two shits about her either way. This week, Toula CONTOSTAVLOU expects LITERALLY anything to happen, so if Margaret Thatcher invades the stage dressed in Lady Gaga’s meat dress and bites the head off a live badger I expect her to take it in her stride. And Nicole Shitsinger attempts to get back in the nation’s good books by referring to Gary as “Gary Borelow” in the opening VT, just like everyone at home does.

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14th-Oct-2012 02:20 pm - Bane's on toast
I'm just going to be doing the very barest bones of Merlin reviews this year, because the X Factor ones are risking my sanity quite enough already, thank you.

Spoilers for 'Arthur's Bane'Collapse )
This week on my Twitter feed was mainly about telly what I've watched, and plays what I've seen.

What's the deal with half the musicals in London moving theatres at the moment?
4:36 PM - 4 Oct 12

Doc Spot: Matt Smith in Charing Cross.
6:41 PM - 4 Oct 12

I must admit Twitter isn't exactly making me jump with anticipation at my upcoming couple of trips to the National.
10:31 PM - 4 Oct 12

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7th-Oct-2012 10:34 pm - The Belated Olympic Cash-In Factor
Well I can’t avoid it any more, it’s the X Factor live shows. See, I think the ‘lympics and p’lympics are one of the reasons the show’s fucked this year. All summer we’ve been watching people who worked ridiculously hard to get to a point of physical fitness where they could beat the rest of the world, and then probably won’t make any money out of it afterwards unless they do the rounds of every TV show they can get on, in the hope of some sponsorship money. But that’s over now, and here’s a show that’s all about how a mediocre singer can walk in off the street and OMG DON’T CHANGE ANYTHING YOU’RE ALREADY PERFECT and they deserve to become instant superstars and be fellated by groupies. Basically, I’m saying the whole ethos of The X Factor looks even more scuzzy when contrasted directly with the Olympics and Paralympics, and it would be best for the show if it avoided drawing any unnecessary comparisons between itself and a very different event.

It’s Week 1 of X Factor live shows, and it’s Olympic and Paralympic Week! Oh.

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3rd-Oct-2012 05:09 pm - Twitterball 29: Patchazzled
This week on my Twitter feed starts with some good news and stays fairly low key. With the usual X Factor gubbins, as a sea of faces that might as well be blank for all I can tell the difference between them, ends up on the live shows.

Good news, apparently Mum's symptoms caused by an eye problem, not a stroke. May take time to recover but still, bit of a relief.
11:37 AM - 26 Sep 12

Stop the presses, James and John both in shorts on next week's Bake-Off. Shorts! #gbbo
12:52 PM - 26 Sep 12

Seen Mum, she has 6th Nerve Palsy, which caused the blurred vision & headaches. Should be back to normal in 2-3 months.
3:44 PM - 27 Sep 12

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