So anyway,

Callum Boo!

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 16:32:20 GMT

I guess it's true that the order of episodes for this year's Sarah Jane Adventures was juggled around - if "The Wedding of SJS" hadn't been dropped before it, this ghost story would have been broadcast in Halloween week. Maybe I just wasn't in the mood for it or maybe this is the first dud this year, but "The Eternity Trap" really didn't do much for me. I do dread the annual appearance by Floella Benjamin, because I have great affection for her from my childhood, and her acting stylings on SJA have a tendency to spoil these happy memories. Actually this time she was completely overtaken in the annoying performance stakes by Adam Gillen's nerdy, nasal, pouty Toby. That aside there was just nothing in the story that got my attention - it just seemed to be one haunted house cliche scene after another, building up to the inevitable, half-hearted "it was an alien after all" conclusion. The excuse for having Luke not appear in the story (real reason: Tommy Knight's exams) was very clunky as well (what, Sarah Jane and Haresh just swapped kids for the weekend and Haresh didn't wonder why?) Still, there was the bizarre sight of an unrecognisable Callum Blue as a swashbuckling ghost. Let's hope for something better next week.

Hilarity of Consequences may differ

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:29:23 GMT

It's been a few weeks since I had anything to preview on lowculture; next week I've got quite a few articles planned but for now just one new one, about tonight's launch of Comedy Showcase on C4 - partly because tonight's pilot stars Fit Dad from The Sarah Jane Adventures and partly 'cause a later one features a certain R. Tovey: Big Dad on Campus.

Theatre review: Annie Get Your Gun

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:41:34 GMT

The Young Vic's production of Annie Get Your Gun has had mixed reviews. Personally I wouldn't have gone to see it were it not for the leads - Jane Horrocks isn't to everyone's taste but I like her; and after getting his understudy in Marguerite I wanted another chance to catch Julian Ovenden on stage. These two, and in fact all the cast, save the evening as they seem to be having fun and it's infectious; to start with the tweeness of the dialogue and songs grated on me, but the performances gradually made me warm to the show. While Richard Jones' updating of the action to the 1940s doesn't make any sense (and a video segment where Annie gets given a medal by Hitler falls flat on its arse) for the most part the gimmick doesn't interfere too much. I've seen some criticism of Ultz's set, which is very wide but shallow, and it does occasionally look a bit crowded, which is weird in a space like the Young Vic which can have such a deep stage when it wants to. It also means there's almost no choreography, which is odd in a show like this. But Horrocks is her usual kooky self and Ovenden is a hot leading man in very tight jeans (he dresses to the right.) But if you want to see his only topless scene don't sit too near the stage - you need to be about 3-4 rows back. Er, and there we have it.

Annie Get Your Gun by Irving Berlin, Herbert & Dorothy Fields is booking until the 2nd of January at the Young Vic.

Blair of the dog

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:22:28 GMT

I think this cold is gradually easing off, but for the last two days it's kept me completely shattered - I've barely been able to get out of bed. I'm hoping I'll be rested enough to go to the theatre tonight and back to the gym tomorrow, but in the meantime another dream: I dreamed that the company vanessaw and I used to work for had gone bust. Obviously this would be cause for celebration, less obvious is why I would choose to celebrate by walking around the streets in the morning drinking a bottle of Budweiser (especially since in real life of course I haven't drunk alcohol in over two years.)

Continuing to do things that, even in a dream, made no sense, I walked into some little local pub, still with the half-full bottle in my hand. Having no idea why I was in there in the first place I figured all I could do was order another drink, but the barman laughed at me, said it was 9am and he couldn't serve alcohol yet (so where did I get the first bottle from?) I ordered a Diet Coke, which was ridiculously overpriced. The barman said that one pound of that excessive price was for the plastic lid on the cup. Looking around the place, which was pretty full considering there was no alcohol being served, I saw everyone's drink had a plastic lid. I went and stood to one side to quickly get through my drink, and heard a couple of people complaining about the price of the lids as well.

Then Tony Blair walked past and through a door next to the bar. Apparently I wasn't the only person to be surprised to see him there, two old ladies sitting near me commented on it, but they quickly decided it was typical of Blair, he was probably waiting to find out if he'd got the job as President of Europe, and had taken a job washing glasses in the meantime.

Twitter ye not 33: Dirty Anakin!

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 14:46:19 GMT

Er, livejournal, you can probably take the Halloween pumpkin down from the banner now. Mind you, it's better than them putting the Christmas stuff up already, I guess. Anyway, back to the last week's tweets:

A Hayden Christiansen-alike at the gym? I approve.
12:05 PM Oct 28th from txt

Must... not... doze... off...
3:14 PM Oct 28th from web

Did not doze off. Watched Iron Man instead. It was OK.
6:24 PM Oct 28th from web

Ooh, spooky fog outside. A bit ahead of schedule for Halloween.
10:55 PM Oct 28th from web

FINALLY, I slept through (most of) the night. I guess spooky fog drugged me.
10:23 AM Oct 29th from web

Ooh, my new mattress just arrived! Are all my tweets this week going to be about sleep and/or the lack of it?
3:23 PM Oct 29th from web

Wait, was that Gareth Gates looking gayer than any human being has ever looked before?
7:04 PM Oct 29th from txt

Hayden-alike + changing room minus shirt = good start to the day. No shower though? Dirty Anakin!
11:43 AM Oct 30th from txt

Oh Tim Vincent, advertising the Daily Heil? What makes you think I still love you enough to forgive *that*?
4:01 PM Oct 30th from web

If any trick-or-treaters manage to get to my door, I hope they like cough sweets, that's all I've got.
1:59 PM Oct 31st from web

Dear TV, I don't recall saying you could lose the ITV signal just before X Factor starts.
7:57 PM Oct 31st from web

Ah yes Dermot, unbuttoning your suit jacket, there's nothing more rawk'n'roll \m/ #xfactor
8:06 PM Oct 31st from web

Is that a woman's leather jacket? For some reasone when Joe came on I was sure he was in drag #xfactor
8:10 PM Oct 31st from web

"It was very stage school." Like every comment Simon ever makes to Joe, that translates as "stop being so gay pls." #xfactor
8:13 PM Oct 31st from web

Because more confidence is exactly what Danyl needs to endear him to people *rolleyes* #xfactor
8:28 PM Oct 31st from web

Cunning plan Danyl - people are voting for the people who can't hit the notes, so that's what you're doing this week? #xfactor
8:30 PM Oct 31st from web

"Hope her boyfriend don't mind it." Way to sideswipe the gender problem while still making NO SENSE WHATSOEVER! #xfactor
8:43 PM Oct 31st from web

Nice to see you were paying attention to Dannii, Cheryl, what with making the exact same comment she just did. #xfactor
8:46 PM Oct 31st from web

Just when you thought Katy Perry was the most unlikely act ever to be called "rock," here come Keane #xfactor (stillloveStaceythoughobvs)
8:50 PM Oct 31st from web

Not that Simon's realised the popularity of his acts is the opposite to what he thought and changed their running order accordingly #xfactor
8:59 PM Oct 31st from web

Oh well Jamie's not just doing karaoke this week - no, now it's specifically "embarrassing dad karaoke" #xfactor
9:02 PM Oct 31st from web

Wait, she got all the right notes. That's it, Rachel's going home tomorrow. #xfactor
9:15 PM Oct 31st from web

Jedward singing completely different lyrics to each other = TV gold #xfactor
9:22 PM Oct 31st from web

Also, who knew Jedward + eyeliner = Matt Willis? #xfactor
9:24 PM Oct 31st from web

Olly's weird chest rug makes me slightly queasy. #xfactor
9:35 PM Oct 31st from web

Blimey, Heidi Sugababe sounds like a 7-year-old girl phoning Going Live.
9:51 PM Oct 31st from web

I slept for 12 hours straight. I clearly needed it, but wonder if I'll sleep at all tonight...
1:22 PM Nov 1st from web

Blimey, windy much? The weather I mean, I don't have gas.
5:21 PM Nov 1st from web

@serafinowicz Morgan/Minogue, Michael Sheen plays Dannii.
5:43 PM Nov 1st from web in reply to serafinowicz

Can't imagine what made Brian Friedman put topless breakdancers in that routine. Thanks, NotLouis #xfactor
8:06 PM Nov 1st from web

The group number is challenging Jedward as the car crash moment of the week #xfactor
8:08 PM Nov 1st from web

The T-Mobile "superband" makes me angrier than it has any right to. What would I do with free texts for life? Text some people. Dur.
8:23 PM Nov 1st from web

Oh good, Simon's "look at Cheryl's tits" distraction technique didn't knock Joe out #xfactor
8:38 PM Nov 1st from web

Boo, Jamie should have gone in rock week, t'would have been funny #xfactor
8:39 PM Nov 1st from web

Haha! Lloyd to go, come on! But they'll probably ditch Rachel :( #xfactor
8:41 PM Nov 1st from web

Oh fuck off with the sympathy ploy Cheryl. "Lloyd can't sing cos he's ill." Er, Lloyd can't sing cos he can't sing. #xfactor
8:47 PM Nov 1st from web

If they keep Lloyd in after this, poorly or not, Simon better never call it a singing competition again. #xfactor
8:50 PM Nov 1st from web

Boo :( Simon you idiot, you'll never get rid of Lloyd now the fangirls will be voting like crazy #xfactor
8:55 PM Nov 1st from web

Also "you can barely talk," what was his excuse for every other performance when he couldn't sing? #xfactor
8:57 PM Nov 1st from web

New pers trainer today. Did some kickboxing! I'z well butch.
12:02 PM Nov 2nd from txt

My sister got accepted on her nursing course. Be warned, sick people!
5:06 PM Nov 2nd from web

Yay, won the first game. Shit start on the second though.
8:52 PM Nov 2nd from txt

*grumble grumble grumble* *sneeze* *grumble* Colds are no fun.
11:17 AM Nov 3rd from web

Well I've drunk the fizzy orange tablet, I demand to be INSTANTLY BETTER.
about 22 hours ago from web

Sleb Spot: Miquita Oliver, Frith St.
about 18 hours ago from txt

Troll tax

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 17:40:15 GMT

Since the series started I've been grumbling that Merlin needed to do a two-part story. They finally do and am I happy? You'd think I would be, and the episodes seem to have been generally well-liked, but although there was plenty of good stuff I found myself drifting through quite a lot of both parts of "Beauty and the Beast." Yes, it was nice to get an Uther-centric episode that allowed Tony Head to do some comedy acting for a change, but there was something very episodic about the story that got on my nerves after a while. It seemed to consist of ten-minute sequences that each culminated in a mini-climax as the Katrina-troll got an extra foothold into power over Uther and Camelot, which wouldn' be so bad in a single story but spread over 90 minutes felt like it lacked an overall story arc. It also probably didn't help that guest villains Sarah Parish and Adam "Rain Man" Godley were so panto all the time, even if there was some comedy to be got out of it.

On the plus side though the Merlin/Arthur relationship finally seems to have got back on track with the latter calling Merlin a true friend, and the triumphant return of GAYWATCH! especially in the scene where Arthur warns Merlin to run away; where Arthur genuinely believes Merlin might have spent several days hiding under his bed while he was sleeping in it; and of course the almost-hug at the end. Awww. Also, because I can spot a hot guy at 20 paces, nice to see a couple of brief appearances by chunky theatrical hottie Rhys Rusbatch from Our Class, playing one of Arthur's knights. And to be fair a lot of the comedy sequences really worked, especially Gaius and the knights trying to work out if Uther's actually noticed his new wife has tusks. But there was just something about the whole storyline that failed to click for me; maybe after taking so long to attempt a two-parter I was hoping for something more significant to the overall arc than an extended villain-of-the-week tale.

California dreamer

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 15:04:30 GMT

Does San Francisco have a subway system? I don't think it does, but turns out it has one in my dreams. I know there's the cable cars, maybe my subconscious got the two mixed up. I haven't been sleeping well for ages but last night I slept almost uninterrupted from 12am to 12pm (which is almost definitely too much sleep, I'll probably be back to the insomnia tonight as a result.) When I woke up I remembered in detail two separate, rather intricate dreams, and figured I should definitely blog them. Of course by the time I'd got up to put the kettle on almost everything was gone again, except for the very end of the second dream.

The second dream involved me being in San Francisco, and I think I'd been doing various surreal things around the city during the course of it, but it ended with me going on the SF subway. Which started overground so I guess I'm definitely confusing it with the cable cars. We (I think there was someone with me) were right at the front of the train, which like the DLR didn't seem to have a driver. The train was going along the Golden Gate Bridge, then it started to dip so it could go into the tunnel. But in fact the tunnel entrance was under the water, so the last image I got before waking up was of us following the tracks down into the water, just about to splash in.

As I was waking up my brain was trying to work out if there was a way to engineer a train tunnel entrance like that without it flooding, maybe one just above the water level that gave the illusion of being below it. Then I woke all the way up and remembered it was a dream and didn't have to make any bloody sense.

\m/

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 22:54:35 GMT

Americans and other aliens may be wondering what Jedward, the Irish twins whose astonishing lack of talent is a talent in itself, have been up to. Well, they're still in The X Factor and they're still the undoubted highlight of a horribly bland lineup. Of course once we saw them doing "Oops I Did It Again" we knew they could never, ever top that for sheer lunacy, but they've certainly been giving it a go. This week was a Halloween/Rock themed show, not that you could tell from the acts that went before them (just when you thought classifying Katy Perry as "rock" was taking the piss, next up, a Keane cover!) But not to worry, Jedward are here to do "We Will Rock You." Not the original version of course, perish the thought. No, the cover done by boyband 5ive, complete with attempts at rap. You'd think Irish teenagers doing an imitation of an English boyband trying to rap would be the highlight, but wait until they start singing entirely different lyrics to each other, at different times, to different tunes.

And because I haven't posted these on the blog before, in case weeks two and four weren't enough for you, here's the horror of the other two performances - "Rock DJ" from Week 1. Highlights: The opening as they abseil in, and one of them suddenly remembers that there's a camera there (this still happens regularly;) about 30 seconds in when the backing dancers have to drag them into the correct place; and of course the fact that despite the song being almost entirely spoken, they're still out of tune.

Last week's "She Bangs" - Highlights: As ever the outfits - the basketball shoes really set off those suits donchathink; the terrifying giant inflatable Jedwards; and the bit where they lie between the dancers' legs and look like they have no idea where they are.

The Mrs Dalton Adventures

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:41:31 GMT

Crossover-tastic: After K-9, the Brig and various baddies, it's finally The Doctor's turn to visit The Sarah Jane Adventures.

Gareth Roberts is one of the best writers on both the parent show and SJA and here he gives us what I want to call the third part of the "Trickster" trilogy, except for all I know there could be plans for a fourth installment next year (and that's not even counting Doctor Who's "Turn Left," which is generally thought to involve the Trickster in all but name.) "The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith" has a strong opening episode despite the fact that roughly half of it is filler - all we really need to know is that SJS has fallen in love and is getting married rather hastily to someone whom the sidekicks are suspicious of. But Roberts uses the filler time well with a slapstick storyline involving an alien bought on eBay, which makes no bones about the fact that it's irrelevant to the main plot. Really we're just building up to the cliffhanger and its reveal of both the Trickster and the Tenth Doctor. Who's wearing the blue suit, and am I the only person geeky enough to spot that this is wrong, because the blue suit is currently being worn by Doctor 10.1 in Rose's parallel dimension? Oh, just me then.

Anyway, the second half makes up for lost time with action right from the start, the separate time-traps that SJS and the Doctor/the sidekicks are trapped in giving everybody plenty to do, and the twists and turns are well thought-out, as well as bringing back elements from "Whatever Happened to SJS," the Series 1 story that introduced the Trickster. Roberts also throws in some nicely ominous predictions both about Ten's upcoming demise and about what Sarah Jane will face in the future. There also seemed to be a few in-jokes thrown about, such as Maria being away due to exams, and Fit Dad having a lot of work on. Basically loads of clever stuff thrown in without it feeling overcooked. And yes, what is essentially the "Father's Day" ending still seems to bloody work every time. Nicely done from all involved - even characters who normally annoy me were great this time around, what with K-9's irritatingness being somewhat acknowledged, especially by Mr Smith (the one-upmanship between the two computers is lots of fun.) Tennant's performance had all the best elements of his Doctor without the worst, and finally Clyde got given something to do other than largely inappropriate wisecracks. Apparently this was meant to be the series finale but got brought forward; I hope it doesn't mean the rest of Series 3 will seem flat in comparison.

Theatre review: Speaking in Tongues

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 23:36:45 GMT

I wasn't really sure if I'd like Speaking in Tongues; the publicity, reviews and even the programme notes may rave about it but at the same time make the play sound very convoluted and pretentious. Having now seen it I wouldn't say that's the case, but it's hard to describe without it coming across that way. Four actors (John Simm, Ian Hart, Lucy Cohu and Kerry Fox) play nine characters between them, and in the first act we have two couples, both cheating with each other's partners. Andrew Bovell's play and Toby Frow's production start with a bang, as a single hotel room serves as the location for both liaisons, the four actors all on stage at once, playing both scenes simultaneously and often overlapping dialogue. It starts things off with lots of energy and impressive performances; then we move on to see the consequences of these infidelities.

One of the first act's characters, Leon (Simm) is a policeman, and in the second half he investigates a woman's disappearance - Simm also plays the prime suspect. The various characters' lives interweave through a series of coincidences, and all the storylines deal in some way, as the title suggests, with problems in communication, principally but not exclusively between men and women. It's a show I went to see for the cast and they don't disappoint, while director Toby Frow keeps the action taut, and Ben Stones' set is a moody but versatile combination of black brick, white blinds and low-key video projections. The show's main problem is that it began life as two separate one-act plays, written a couple of years apart then re-written as a single play by Bovell; thematically it works, in terms of story it's also largely successful, but the end of the first act when the theme of the missing woman is introduced feels like a very abrupt gear shift which takes you out of the action quite a bit.

Speaking in Tongues by Andrew Bovell is booking until the 12th of December at the Duke of York's Theatre.

Twitter ye not 32: It's tenterhooks, Dermot

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:48:33 GMT

Blimey, I have been blogging less than usual this week, there's only been three posts since my last Twitter recap. And now here's another one.

I've lost another couple of lbs, that makes it a stone in just over 6 weeks.
2:14 PM Oct 21st from web

I really didn't want to have an afternoon nap but dozed off until 6:30 anyway. Now it feels a lot earlier than it actually is...
9:16 PM Oct 21st from web

...it doesn't bode well for me getting any sleep tonight.
9:17 PM Oct 21st from web

Sorry about the technical problems i.e. completely cutting out the cliffhanger? At least it was blatantly obvious what it would be.
11:11 PM Oct 21st from web

Today was a good day. I enjoyed today.
10:36 PM Oct 23rd from web

Most disappointing thing since joining the gym: Knackering myself out has made it no easier getting a good night's sleep :(
10:43 AM Oct 24th from web

I think this was the most successful coffee posse in years - some people still around at closing time.
12:49 AM Oct 25th from web

Not been tweeting much lately. I've not fallen out of love with Twitter, just been busy doing stuff I ain't telling you bitches about, innit
7:23 PM Oct 25th from web

@helencairns It is, right?
7:26 PM Oct 25th from web in reply to helencairns

@helencairns Oh my days, don't you be dissin' me, my posse got mad skills you get me?
7:28 PM Oct 25th from web in reply to helencairns

@helencairns Reprazent.
7:31 PM Oct 25th from web in reply to helencairns

Shouty voiceover man sounded like he was shitting himself when he announced Michael Buble #xfactor
8:01 PM Oct 25th from web

But then again I guess he *always* sounds like he's shitting himself.
8:01 PM Oct 25th from web

Louis tapping along to the music reminds me of my Nan. #xfactor
8:06 PM Oct 25th from web

"When's the song out?" "It already is. What, you've not heard it yet? Nobody knows it's out? Shit." #xfactor
8:19 PM Oct 25th from web

Buble had better be on teh drugz or he's just FAIL as a Sunday night guest-star. #xfactor
8:27 PM Oct 25th from web

It's tenterhooks, Dermot, not tenderhooks. Seriously, can people on this show start using real words, please? #xfactor
8:37 PM Oct 25th from web

Oh dear, there go Miss Frank, surely, unless the other 3 fuck Simon right up. Still, mwahahahahaha BISEXUAL Danyl in the bottom 2.
8:42 PM Oct 25th from web

Aw shame. But at least it came back to the public vote. #xfactor
8:55 PM Oct 25th from web

I didn't want Miss Frank to go but Jedward being the top-rated group is hilariarse. #xfactor
8:56 PM Oct 25th from web

Yikes, gym was mantastic today.
11:45 AM Oct 26th from txt

Sleb Spot: Charles Dance, Lyttelton Theatre bar.
7:03 PM Oct 26th from txt

Sleb Spot: Bette Bourne, looking frail, Lyttelton bar.
7:12 PM Oct 26th from txt

Sleb spot: Penelope Wilton sitting in front of me in theatre. *love her*
10:11 PM Oct 26th from txt

Is an extra hour in bed last Sunday worth it being dark an hour earlier? No.
6:49 PM Oct 27th from web

Theatre review: John Lithgow: Stories by Heart

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 11:26:50 GMT

I was a bit disappointed a few years ago when the RSC production of Twelfth Night with John Lithgow as Malvolio didn't transfer to London, so I made sure to book for the second and final performance of Stories by Heart which, despite him having studied at LAMDA, is Lithgow's London stage debut. A one-man show he originated in New York and which by the sounds of it he's been reworking for a few years, it's as much about why he loves storytelling itself as it is about the two short stories. He starts with why the first tale, PG Wodehouse's "Uncle Fred Flits By," has great personal importance to him, before telling the story itself while acting out all the parts. It is indeed a very funny little farce and he had the audience in fits of laughter. After the interval it's a darker tale, Ring Lardner's "Haircut," in which a barber tells his customer all about his late friend, without seeming to quite realise what an unpleasant character the dead man really was. Lithgow mimes the entire shave and haircut while telling the story - sitting right in front of me were Charles Dance and Penelope Wilton who after the show chatted enthusiastically about his mime skills so I guess the professional opinion agrees that he was very good. Although I didn't enjoy the second tale as much as the first the whole evening is very entertaining and Lithgow makes for a very warm, amiable host, and it's particularly impressive that what feels like it ought to be a small, intimate show doesn't end up lost in a space the size of the Lyttelton.

Stories by Heart by John Lithgow, PG Wodehouse and Ring Lardner ended last night at the National Theatre's Lyttelton.

It was the man from the creepy fairground after all!

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 19:11:40 GMT

See, the problem with two episodes of The Sarah Jane Adventures per week is that two weeks in the series is already a third of the way gone. But "The Mad Woman in the Attic" guest-starred KateFleetwoodWhoIWasInAPlayWithOnceInCaseIHadn'tMentionedIt so I got to lord it over dave_rc at the Coffee Posse yesterday - fame by association. Fleetwood played Ship, so she was just a face in a red-tinged screen. Actually I thought it was a bit of a waste of someone with her otherworldly blue eyes to have them washed out with colour, especially in a show where "otherworldly" is part of the point, but there you go.

Part 1 was one of the best episodes of the show so far, using a lot of classic spooky images - the deserted fairground, the apparently-nice-but-is-he-really old man, the people with rictus smiles. The version of Rani in her 60s was a great match for Anjli Mohindra, especially the voice, and opened the show with a nicely creepy puzzle about what happened. By the cliffhanger though I was very worried about a 25-minute second half being able to tie all the loose ends satisfactorily, and unfortunately I was right to worry. Not that the second half was bad, just rather messy in places. Especially the resolution of the wraparound story that gave the two-parter its title, what Rani did to cause the dystopian future didn't make much sense in the first place (even to an alien computer that can grant wishes, how does "leave me alone" = "cease to exist entirely?") and it was then instantly resolved with a clunky reset button. The rushed pace of the episode wasn't helped by the fact that on top of all his own plot strands, Joseph Lidster was also lumbered with getting K-9 back into the regular cast. And it's not like I'm crazy about K-9 in the first place, although the hints of rivalry between him and Mr Smith look promising.

Still, there was a lot that was good about the story overall - I liked the fact that Eve's race were wiped out by what was clearly the Time War, and having another race of people who can see through time and dimensions continues the theme of alternate universes that has actually been explored a lot more in the spin-off than in Doctor Who. Things almost reached Merlin-like levels of slash in the scene of Luke and Sam bonding, but much more disturbing is something that other people seem to have spotted too - was that Sarah Jane and Clyde... flirting? Er. Next week, Ten does his guest-spot, and so does Nigel Havers and the Trickster.

Theatre review: Comedians

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 22:56:57 GMT

Maybe I'm just not a Trevor Griffiths fan, because I wasn't crazy about A New World and his most famous play, Comedians, didn't do it for me either: In the 1970s, six wannabe comedians are taking a night class in comedy by a former minor celebrity of the circuit (Matthew Kelly.) It's the last night of the course, and they're going to a local club to perform their material in front of a talent scout (Keith Allen.) The two men have very different opinions about comedy and as the acts try to work out who they want to please we get an insight into the nastiness that can underlie some comedy. It's a rather brutal play and Sean Holmes' production is perfectly acted (the cast has a lot of familiar faces like Mark Benton, Reece Shearsmith and Kulvinder Ghir, while the central role of Gethin is played by David Dawson as variously camp, witty and even rather disturbing) but as it's no longer the seventies and you can't see racist comedy on prime time TV, the harshness of the play doesn't carry the political punch it once did, and for me at least all that was left was a rather uncomfortable evening.

Comedians by Trevor Griffiths is booking until the 14th of November at the Lyric Hammersmith.

Twitter ye not 31: She heard it was good craic

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 13:57:48 GMT

It was a fun week on Twitter, what with the Jan Moir kerfuffle on Friday. And now that I'm actually watching X-Factor all the tweets about it on Saturday and Sunday nights make a bit more sense...

Cool, did a lot better at the gym this morning than I expected to after yesterday's hurty arms.
1:16 PM Oct 14th from web

Mark this momentous day in your diaries ladies'n'gennlemen: Today I wrote the Obligatory Gratuitous Nude Scene.
4:16 PM Oct 14th from web

@merseytart Tru dat. It serves the important dramatic purpose of "actually getting people to come and see the show."
4:30 PM Oct 14th from web in reply to merseytart

@helencairns Well I just hope all you perverts put your money where your mouth is and buy tickets if I ever get it produced ;)
4:55 PM Oct 14th from web in reply to helencairns

Sleb Spot: Barnesy! Again! At the Landor Theatre.
6:32 PM Oct 14th from txt

Oh I did my 1500th tweet and didn't even notice!
10:39 AM Oct 15th from web

Blimey it's warm today. Halfway through October and I'm still in short sleeves.
2:20 PM Oct 15th from web

Is this bus driver determined to make me throw up?
6:19 PM Oct 15th from txt

Well, they are obsessed with which celebrities are looking *fabulous* and which aren't #thedailymailisgay
3:45 PM Oct 16th from web

If Luke's fringe gets any longer he'll be Cousin It #sarajaneadventures
5:09 PM Oct 16th from web

"Undoubtably?" Please start using actual words, Simon. #xfactor
8:06 PM Oct 17th from web

What? Olly was selling electricity a few months ago? You'd think they'd have mentioned that before. #xfactor
8:21 PM Oct 17th from web

It's not like he's wrong, they *were* out of tune :( #xfactor
8:35 PM Oct 17th from web

Hmmm, Geordie Joe is going to win this, isn't he? #xfactor
8:53 PM Oct 17th from web

If Danyl doesn't want to look cocky, maybe he shouldn't act like he's won every time anyone pays him a compliment #xfactor
9:08 PM Oct 17th from web

Oh dear, Lloyd almost looked like he'd get away with it but oh noes! This song has high notes! Fail. #xfactor
9:15 PM Oct 17th from web

Haha I love that the twins' musical heroes were 5ive #xfactor
9:18 PM Oct 17th from web

I think I've just ruptured something laughing #xfactor
9:21 PM Oct 17th from web

Oh I'd forgotten Rikki existed. I imagine that happens to a lot of people. His family, f'rinstance. #xfactor
9:24 PM Oct 17th from web

No, Glade, now is NOT the time to go all Christmassy. You know when's the time to go all Christmassy? Christmas.
9:26 PM Oct 17th from web

And ANOTHER song choice dig at Cheryl... #xfactor
9:34 PM Oct 17th from web

Who is Whitney Euston please, Dermot? #xfactor
7:56 PM Oct 18th from web

Cheryl to go home this week. Oh, wait. #xfactor
8:12 PM Oct 18th from web

Sure, Whitney's got a song to promote, but she's mainly doing this 'cause she heard it was good craic #xfactor
8:25 PM Oct 18th from web

So Simon has the deciding vote - does that mean he'll pick which of the two other judges he's got a bigger grudge against this week?
8:41 PM Oct 18th from web

Rachel's better but after watching that I kinda want her put out of her misery #xfactor
8:49 PM Oct 18th from web

So off Rikki goes to do his entirely "surprising" coming-out interview in the papers next week. #xfactor
8:56 PM Oct 18th from web

Dear Twitter, please to not spoil Harper's Island for me, I won't get a chance to watch until tomorrow, kthxbai.
9:01 PM Oct 18th from web

Yeesh this morning's gym session was tiring.
1:56 PM Oct 19th from web

Right, I definitely need to upgrade to the warmer jacket tomorrow.
9:23 PM Oct 19th from txt

Just watched Wanted. So, they cut the monster made of Hitler-poo and it still makes *less* sense than the comic?
2:33 PM Oct 20th from web

Theatre review: Orphans

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 22:48:20 GMT

Well no, Jonas Armstrong wasn't in this play, but I'm using this avatar because Orphans stars the other J. Armstrong from Robin Hood - Allan-a-Dale himself, Joe Armstrong. Not that he's second prize by any means - in the unlikely event I was given the opportunity I'd find it hard to choose between them, and if Joe had done a nudie scene in a film I'd probably have an avatar of that as well. I mean, there's still time for him to get his bits out in a film if he wants... no? Oh well. Anyway, I managed a front-row seat so I can say that although he wasn't having a good skin day, I still would.

OK, hormones out of the way this is actually a very dark play, although with moments of very strong comedy, which I always find helps me engage even more when tragic events unfold. Dennis Kelly's play starts with an arresting image - after easy listening music has been playing while the audience takes their seats, Helen (Claire-Louise Cordwell) and Danny (Jonathan McGuinness) are in their dining room having a romantic dinner, staring in horror at the door where Helen's brother Liam (Armstrong) has just appeared, covered in blood. The Orphans of the title are Helen and Liam who lost their parents when they were very young, were moved around various foster homes and this has defined their relationship, including the way they respond to what happens tonight. The blood is not Liam's own, it belongs to a kid from a local gang who was stabbed in the street, and whom he tried to help. Helen says they mustn't alert the police because Liam has a record and might get the blame. But as the night goes on we discover he's not as innocent as he made out, and it starts to look increasingly like he committed a racially-motivated attack.

What really sucks you into the play is how it's structured around the constantly changing story of what Liam did, as we discover more and more abhorrent details and find out just how much Helen can forgive her brother for. In the process, her relationship with her husband is put under pressure. Roxanna Silbert's production feels a lot shorter than its 1 hour and 45 minutes, Armstrong is happily more than a pretty face and gives a convincing performance in a role where the audience's attitude towards him has to change so many times, and Cordwell and McGuinness are also excellent (although the latter's open-mouthed reaction to many of the revelations was at times unintentionally funny.) I also loved designer Garance Marneur's oppressive-looking set, gaps between the cosy walls of the dining room showing prison bars looming behind them. As well as a strong opening Kelly also delivers one last punch to the gut in the closing moments which made a lot of people near me audibly gasp.

Orphans by Dennis Kelly is booking until the 24th of October at Soho Theatre (but is sold out.)

Book review: Earthbound

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 13:57:37 GMT

When I was reading The Turn of the Screw a couple of weeks ago I got the idea that it might be fun to write a ghost story play. I have lots of other ideas I want to work on first but it sounded interesting enough that I thought I'd read a couple of classic ghost stories to get some ideas. I bought some MR James the other day but in the meantime I already had a copy of Richard Matheson's Earthbound, in which a couple in their forties go to a seaside cottage in the off-season to help their ailing marriage. It doesn't quite work out that way as David is seduced by the ghost of Marianna, a woman condemned as a slut in life and not much changed in the afterlife. I can see why it's one of the more obscure Matheson books - it's OK and the spooky atmosphere works well at times, but it never quite gripped me. It probably doesn't help that the story is all about sex, and sex scenes in books almost invariably make me cringe.

Theatre review: Endgame

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 22:09:39 GMT

This production of Endgame disappointed me weeks before I even went to see it - as I'd only booked because it was meant to be Richard Briers' final stage appearance, but he then pulled out of the production. I might not otherwise have booked (as I've mentioned before, I sometimes find Beckett's plays more interesting to read than to watch.) Still, I had my ticket so went along to Complicite's production, which in fairness is pretty good. Mark Rylance replaces Briers as Hamm, blind, disabled and reliant on his servant Clov (Simon McBurney, who also directs) who is almost blind and disabled himself. Hamm's parents (Miriam Margolyes and Tom Hickey) live in dustbins and are occasionally allowed to pop their heads out and be given a biscuit. I have to say the play includes some wonderfully lyrical lines which come across very well from the cast, and I particularly liked how Paul Anderson's lighting design stayed murky and shadowy throughout. The production gives a particularly strong sense of this being a post-apocalyptic world, and the black comedy is very well delivered, both in words and actions.

Endgame by Samuel Beckett is booking until the 5th of December at the Duchess Theatre.

Theatre review: Talent

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 18:10:40 GMT

Victoria Wood directs her 1978 play Talent at the Menier, about the backstage buildup to a talent show at Bunter's, a grotty Manchester club. The production's had some pretty scathing reviews, but for the most part I enjoyed it. Yes, the references may have dated but the whole thing now comes across as a period piece and a lot of the gags still work. Unfortunately there are a lot of awkward silences as the two leading roles were of course written for Wood herself and Julie Walters, and while Suzie Toase in the Wood role of Maureen has a very good handle on timing the lines, Leanne Rowe as Julie (the Walters part) has a lot of her gags fall completely flat. Happily things are lifted every time the supporting cast (which in itself is quite kitsch, as it includes Hi-De-Hi's Jeffrey Holland and Blue Peter's Mark Curry) come on and the comedy gets a bit broader. The show's frequently stolen though by Mark Hadfield as the hangdog magician's assistant Arthur, also doubling, in drag, as Mary, a character with a speech direct to the audience that reminded me a lot of Wood's "Connie can we check that?" classic. The show does betray the fact that Wood was inexperienced when she wrote it (the attempts at seriousness are jarring, and a lot feels unresolved by the end.) While the gags that work really work, it's very hit-and-miss (I'd say as much as 50/50) which at times makes it uncomfortable to watch. However I went along with my mum, my sister and vanessaw, all of whom said they really enjoyed it. I thought maybe they were being polite but when I even suggested it was hit-and-miss Mum and Penny told me to stop being over-analytical so I guess they meant it. So that's three votes in the production's favour, against my one for "not convinced."

Talent by Victoria Wood is booking until the 14th of November at the Menier Chocolate Factory.

"But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean at the end?"

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 09:41:21 GMT

How glad am I that this year I dropped my usual boycott of TV talent shows in order to watch The X Factor? (Americans and other aliens: It's like the UK version of Idol, except there's four categories - boys/girls/over 25s/groups - and each of the judges mentors one group. It's the show that Leona Lewis won a few years ago.) Very glad, and not because of the talent of the contestants, most of them are awful. Even I can tell that they're out of tune more often than not.

No, it's because in a talent show where most of the acts are bad, the worst act are the most entertaining. In the groups category, there's Irish twins John & Edward ("He's John, he's Edward, together they are... John & Edward!") who in their audition were obnoxiously cocky and completely lacking in any singing ability. Yet they got through to the live shows because Louis Walsh is the groups' mentor and (a) he'll let anyone through as long as they're Irish and (b) just because it annoys Simon Cowell. This turns out to have been a genius move because in a show full of mediocrity, the astonishing awfulness of the twins is a genuine highlight. I was looking forward to them murdering "Oops I Did It Again" last night but I hadn't anticipated how close I'd be to wetting myself with laughter. Even watching it again I laugh every time. Gasp! At the costumes. Marvel! At how they even get the opening "yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah"s out of tune. Wonder! At dance moves so uncoordinated you can just about spot the bit where one of them accidentally punches the other. And just when I already thought it was the funniest thing on TV all year, there's what they do just after the 1 minute mark on the clip... By this point I was having trouble breathing.

I got gills, they're multiplyin'

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 17:10:30 GMT

No Merlin this week, but in the unlikely event that my TV reviews are your weekly highlight, luckily The Sarah Jane Adventures is now broadcast on Thursdays and Fridays, meaning the first two-part story is already finished.

"Prisoner of the Judoon" was a decent start to the third series, without being a classic. The first part took a little while to get going but got into its swing about ten minutes from the end once Androvax has posessed Sarah Jane. Bad points included this shaky start; the continuation of the problem from Series 2 where Clyde is relegated to doing nothing other than wisecracks (and the several times he kept yapping at Luke when the latter was trying to think of a solution got very annoying;) and although I like the idea of getting Haresh and Gita more involved, the execution ended up feeling clunky.

There was lots of good stuff though, and as with the Slitheen we have another alien introduced in Doctor Who that seems to work better in the spinoff: Getting to know Tybo worked especially well in Phil Ford's idea of having the Judoon be law-enforcers to the point of interpreting all laws literally, with a couple of funny scenes, especially when Tybo insists they pay and display at the car park before saving the world. Gita's one-liners could make her irritating but somehow Mina Anwar's performance makes it work. The cliffhanger of Mr Smith about to self-destruct worked well, as did the resolution of Luke using logic to stop him. Androvax (played by Avenue Q's Trekkie Monster, Mark Goldthorp) was a mixed bag - the reptilian head prosthetic was well-done, the costume on the other hand made him look like he was about to break into a chorus of "Greased Lightning." The lizard tongue coming out of Lis Sladen's mouth was ace though, and the Veil's copper spaceship looked gorgeous. Not one of the more original storylines this series sometimes gives us (the preview makes it look like we're in for one of those next week though) but an OK series opener.

The Moir the merrier

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 10:56:02 GMT

Well yesterday was one of those very exciting days to be a Twitterer - the days when the whole place goes up in arms over someone being a cunt. The someone was, as is so often the case, connected to the Daily Mail and the story was Jan Moir's now-infamous opinion piece about Stephen Gately's death - to all intents and purposes she said the coroner must be wrong, because obviously he died because he was gay. Oh, and anyone in a civil partnership is pretty much asking for an early grave. Nice. If you haven't seen the article yet, don't give the Mail more website hits - it's reproduced on ONTD so read it there (if you can - apart from being homophobic, Moir's article is also so badly written it's really hard to get through.)

Helped by celebs like Stephen Fry (@stephenfry) the article was seen, and hated, by so many people that the complaints crashed the Press Complaints Commission's website (unfortunately, due to the PCC being set up by the papers themselves, and set up in such a way that it's very hard to actually take any action against offenders, all the complaints were automatically rejected because they didn't come from people named personally in the article.) But hopefully the stink that got kicked up will have some effect in itself - it's hard to ignore that kind of reaction, even if Moir's response has inevitably been to set herself up as the victim of a witchhunt. Her self-justification didn't stop the advertisers pulling their ads from the page, which is surely the most satisfying part.

The political and satirical blogs very quickly got on the bandwagon - Jamie Sport's (@JamieSport) spoof in the Daily Quail is great - and by the end of the day the other papers had joined in, with Charlie Brooker (@charltonbrooker) getting a quick and spot-on response up on the (Guardian) website (I think the article also appears in today's dead tree version.) But back on Twitter itself the most fun-in-a-puerile way was Peter Serafinowicz (@serafinowicz) suggesting that since the Daily Mail is so obsessed with the gays, maybe the paper itself was, you know, hiding something? And so the hashtag #thedailymailisgay was trending yesterday afternoon.

It'd be nice if this all led to the Mail being held accountable for its actions but let's not expect miracles. Still, it does feel satisfying when you get to use social networking to let people know that if they spout hate in an influential paper, readers might actually notice and take you to to task for it.

Book review: Agatha Raisin and the Vicious Vet

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 13:07:49 GMT

After reading Quiche of Death I decided MC Beaton's Agatha Raisin books might be good for occasional light relief. Murder mysteries aren't my favourite genre but so far these books balance somewhere between a straightforward mystery and a spoof. The actual mystery in Vicious Vet isn't particularly exciting but the real reason to read them is Agatha herself, the anti-Marple who solves mysteries despite her utter lack of understanding human nature. The best moments in the second book are her terrible attempts at pursuing her handsome next-door neighbour, and his horrified responses to her ultra-aggressive courting technique had me laughing out loud a couple of times.

Theatre review: The Power of Yes

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 22:23:06 GMT

It's entirely by chance that I ended up seeing the two big shows dealing with the financial crisis in the same week. Where Lucy Prebble told the story of the previous best-known financial scandal and gently hinted at its relevance to current events, David Hare tries to tell the story of how capitalism nearly collapsed entirely in the last couple of years. Tries, but doesn't manage it - The Power of Yes comes with a couple of disclaimers: It's subtitled "A dramatist seeks to understand the financial crisis;" and the opening line is "This isn't a play, it's a story." In fact it's barely even that - Anthony Calf plays Hare himself, and what we see is a version of the interviews he conducted with financial figures, some well-known, some less so, a few anonymous. There's a huge cast, not a starry one but there's a lot of familiar faces there (people like Jeff Rawle, Jemima Rooper, Paul Freeman) who sadly don't get to do much apart from give brief lectures about what the banking system did wrong and how it imploded. At times it's fascinating, at others deathly dull, and while it does explain to the layman what went wrong, unfortunately the opening line is right - it isn't a play; sadly it compares particularly badly to Enron which managed to give all the facts while being engrossingly theatrical. It's almost awkward to watch at times because of the open admission that Hare hasn't really written a play - it's one of the country's most respected dramatists being commissioned by the National Theatre to write a play, not managing to, and having them stage his research notes instead.

The Power of Yes by David Hare is booking until the 10th of January at the National Theatre's Lyttelton.

quirky/kinky/weird

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 14:01:49 GMT

Well, what can I say except thanks shocolate who obviously thought of me when she was looking through the iTunes fashion magazine Drama. I know there's been a lot of publicity about three of the Harry Potter stars appearing in photoshoots of varying levels of weirdness, but it seems someone else is there as well. "Quirky/kinky/weird" is how I described the photo shoots from Drama that I've seen so far when I posted these pics in toveylove and I think it's a fair description, no? In fact I'd say overall this photoshoot has, er, mixed results, but there's definitely some rather interesting pics among them...

Honestly, every time I think I've got more than enough Tovey LJ avatars, something like this happens...