So anyway,

Mitch Benn looking cool post gig, originally uploaded by stockycub1973.

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The empire strikes back

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Wii have killer CSI Deadly Intent contests!

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Enveloped in postcards

Photos of the week

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Twilight, originally uploaded by stockycub1973.

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As you may be aware (Because I’ve said it before) I’m quite lazy and that’s why I sometimes have a bushy beard because I can’t be arsed to shave it off. When I was about thirteen and started growing a bit of bum fluff fledgling facial hair my Dad used to say I should shave it off because then it grows back, thicker, coarser and darker but that‘s not true. People think it is because hair that has never been cut has a tapered end and then after cutting hair has no taper so it looks thicker and feels coarser because it has sharper unworn edges. So it’s not actually thicker or coarser and only seems darker when it grows back because hair that has never been cut is often lighter due to sun exposure. It’s just that with advancing puberty you get more hair and it gets thicker so it just appears to be reborn a mightier beast after you’ve shaved.

I’m clean shaven at the moment anyway and I had a curry yesterday, eating is very different with and without a beard as me and my Nan are aware. When you have a beard, food gets stuck in it and if it hasn’t been that long and the food hasn’t gone off it’s like the facial equivalent of finding a fiver in the street, a welcome surprise. The problem for me now though is about three months ago my sister saw a bit of mash in my beard or something and was horrified so now she always has a check to see if there’s anything lurking and if there is she nags me and nags me and nags me until I get rid of it, I end up shaving it off in the end (The reason I have this time actually) just to stop her from lambasting me. However when I don’t have a beard and I eat something a bit tricky, like the curry yesterday, I end up looking like a messy baby. And when you’ve got food all over your beardless face you can’t store it for later and it’s a lot more noticeable than bearded so you have to wipe it off. It looks worse as well when you’re shaven.

I am a ’messy food’ hypocrite to be honest. I love eating whole chickens with my hands and stuff like that, getting stuck in and getting a messy visage but if anyone else has the slightest trace of food on their face it makes me feel sick. Have you seen that Tom Hanks film ‘Big’ when he’s a little kid that goes to a carnival and wishes to be an adult and then he is an adult with the same child brain when he wakes up the next day and has to pretend to his Mom he has been kidnapped while living a industrious life as a Toy innovator? Well anyway he meets a woman in that and there’s a scene where they go to the carnival again (Well I think it’s travelled) and eat hotdogs and the woman gets mustard on her face, that’s worse than any horror film for me.

Food all over the face is not nice though is it? If you were on a date with someone and they had food all over their mush would it turn you on? It’s not sexy is it?…only with chocolate? I don’t like that either to be honest, not on the face anyway and to add to that, I may give the impression of a sexual deviant sometimes but ’anything’ on the face I’m a bit of a prude with and squirm.

Is food on the face the biggest faux pas? Apart from shitting yourself, there’s nothing worse than that…or is there? Would you be more embarrassed having food on your face in public or toilet paper sticking out your skirt? Does that only happen in films? How can you let that happen unless you’re drunk? What’s the male non- transvestite version of that? Toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe I suppose, that’s happened to me a few times to be fair but it’s easier to notice. Could the toilet paper sticking out happen to you if you were wearing a kilt? I suppose it couldn’t because usually in the films the toilet paper is sticking out the pants and you’re not supposed to wear pants with kilts.

Manchester United = Jammy Bastards! That’s all I’m saying about last nights Champions League games : )

A shout out to all the new Mothers and Fathers out there, want your child to be a suicidal grunger (Like I was but at a slightly older age than ‘baby’)? Well soothe them off to sleep with one of the saddest songs that has ever been made…in Lullaby form -

I like it : ) It certainly helps me sleep anyway,…recommended for all insomniacs also.

Current Location: fool
Current Mood: ditzy
Current Music: meatball

Well done to Jenson Button on winning the Formula1 and massive shout to my underdog hero Sebastien Buemi who finished 16th altogether with six points which is good for his first go…what?…it is good!…sixteenth out of twenty five is good…it is!! It was higher than his team-mate plus six drivers didn’t get any points…well I think it’s good anyway.

Look at this little bit of genius -

Well actually it’s not a little bit of genius is it? It’s a blooming massive collection of genius

It is the largest meatball in the world, well for now anyway, the old record was one hundred and ninety eight pounds 198.6lb and only happened two months ago when Jimmy Kimmel beat a record which was set in Mexico in August! So it seems like the challenge of making the largest meatball in the world is a massive hotly contested battle where the leader is constantly changing, it sounds exciting doesn’t it?

This new one was made by Matthew Mitnitsky, the owner of Nonni's Italian Eatery in Concord, New Hampshire, and it weighs in at an awesome two hundred and twenty two and half pounds! He wanted to ‘Bring the meatball back to the East Coast"

The rules are as follows (If you’re thinking of having a go) - The meatball has to be a giant version made with the same classic ingredients and you have to make it in one day…and people have to be able to eat it. The Guinness Book of records have checked it out and the Main Man Matthew Mitnitskys’ Monumental Meatball fits the bill. I reckon the chance at such alliteration and bragging rights that he has the worlds’ largest meatball (only one though) were also reasons why he had a go not just to bring it back to the East Coast he’s making it communal but really there are private goals involved.

Talking of being communal after it was checked out and approved etc he donated it to The Friendly Kitchen in Concord to ‘Feed the hungry’ what does that mean? Feed the hungry? Who are the hungry? Everyone gets hungry, I’m hungry right now, I would have love to have sunk my teeth in to his meatball. My Mom said they should have given it to Africa but she says that about everything. Don’t worry she’s not as big of a Martyr as she makes out, whenever we had to collect food for Harvest Festival at school she’d give me all the stuff she never wanted like piccalilli (Is there anyone in the world that likes that?) or had gone off. Anyway charity begins at home as they say, it would have been a bit harsh if he’d have made the meatball in full view and knowledge of all the local hungry people making them excited as the meaty aroma wafted around and then shipped it far away, right?

A man in India called Vaibhav Bedi, 26, is suing Lynx because he has had no female attention in the seven years he has been using their stuff, so the adverts Lynx do are a lie, here is one of their naturalistic adverts -

So that’s the type of thing he was expecting to happen.

Mr Bedi wants £26,000 from Lynxs’ parent company ‘Unilever’ (Who have shockingly declined to comment) for the ‘depression and psychological damage caused by the lack of any Lynx effect’ and Court officials in New Delhi have ordered forensic laboratory tests on all the Lynx stuff he has half used.

India's leading compensation litigator Ram Jethmalani is on the case and has issued a strong warning to Unilever "There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don't attract women. In fact some of the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely ghoulish guys. I'd suggest that the company settles this issue out of court."

In India Lynx is called Axe, something used to chop peoples’ heads off…yep. I hope he doesn’t drink Red Bull otherwise he’s in for more disappointment.

Written by Aleksei Arbuzov, directed by Sasha Yevtushenko. Translated by Ariadne Nicolaeff and adapted by Nick Dear. As Russians fight off the Nazis in the savage 1942 siege of Leningrad, three teenagers are thrown together in a war-torn apartment block. Having lost everything, they forge relationships that bind them together and a new hope that keeps them alive - the promise of a better future.

Lika ...... Ruth Wilson
Leonidik ...... Harry Lloyd
Marat ...... Russell Tovey
Download via iPlayer or Radio Downloader.

Russell Tovey, 27, actor

Did you know...? Russell thinks he’s allergic to orange juice

Autumn staple? APC jeans

Best thing about autumn? The weather when it’s crisp and bright

Future projects? Currently filming series two of Being Human and Young, Unemployed and Lazy for BBC 3

Current Location: Michigan
Current Mood: happy

Read the press release here. BBC Three has commissioned Big Talk Productions to make Young, Unemployed And Lazy (working title), a new comedy series starring Russell Tovey (Little Dorrit, Being Human, The History Boys) and Sarah Solemani (Mrs Henderson Presents, Roman's Empire).

The series is written by emerging talent Stefan Golaszewski (Cowards) who received critical acclaim for his recent Edinburgh Fringe show Stefan Golaszweski Is A Widower.

Directed by BAFTA nominee Richard Laxton (Hancock And Joan, An Englishman In New York) and produced by Big Talk's Kenton Allen (That Mitchell And Webb Look, The Royle Family) Young, Unemployed And Lazy reveals the hilarious and often shocking truth of what really goes on behind the bedroom doors of today's 20-somethings.

An acutely observed, forensically honest, warts-and-all look at a working-class couple in their mid-twenties and the minutiae of their relationship, the hub of Young Unemployed And Lazy focuses on the couple's unmade bed and their rather too lived-in bedsit. Danny Cohen, Controller of BBC Three, says: "Stefan has created a beautifully funny, earthy world for this series. Everyone who has come in to contact with the scripts is incredibly keen to be involved."