The three people reading this will know I didn't have a good relationship with my Dad which makes things easier - and the fact that it's easy is hard. Maybe that makes sense to people, does it?
I am feeling things - concern for my sister who's stuck out there with relatives who are already pestering her for the whereabouts of his paperwork, to find out if there's anything in it for them, is the main thing. And there's getting there and back to sort out. But not so much about the fact that my Dad's not alive any more.
I suppose the "Denial" stage is extra-strong in this case because we're talking about a man who spent the last few years announcing he'd got a new life-threatening illness every so often. So it's not that hard to believe he's just crying wolf again. Even though we weren't close I'm still hugely relieved that he went suddenly in his sleep, and didn't get the protracted, melodramatic death he used to fabricate.
I arrive in Athens at 12:15, just enough time to get ready for the funeral at 3:30. Greeks tend to be very demonstrative in these situations and I'm worried I'll be criticised if I don't behave in a manner they consider appropriate. Alex was very helpful with this - she lost her Mum last year and reminded me that my grief doesn't have to run to someone else's schedule.
Anyway. I'll be back at the end of the week. I hope Penny gets through today all right, luckily in amongst all the money-grabbers and attention-seekers are some people who I know care about her and will look after her.