nick730 (nick730) wrote,
nick730
nick730

Four weddings and a thong

Considering he's my sweepstake and I should be supporting him to win, it's amazing how much I want Michael Sophocles to be fired. Out of a cannon. Into a wall. The whiny voice, the complete inability to do anything right, the simpering to Sralan and Sweet Zombie Jesus, there were nearly tears this week when it looked like he'd be on the receiving end of another double firing (but wasn't - he's still there for next week, when it looks worryingly like he was on the verge of curtseying to Sian Lloyd.)

Aaaanyway, wedding dresses were the theme this week. The teams had to choose a dress designer to represent at the Birmingham wedding fayre, as well as a backup item - the mighty Lucinda was a PM again and chose expensive dresses from an award-winning designer, while the less-mighty Helene's team went for mid-price, colour dresses. The fact that the designer's sales pitch was "these are popular with celebrities like Jordan and, er, Jodie Marsh" didn't seem to scream DANGER at her so she went for them anyway. Both teams wanted, as their backup item, a line of sexy honeymoon lingerie, which the supplier gave to Lucinda so the others had to settle for expensive wedding cakes.

Lee McQueen makes for an unlikely lingerie salesman. But Lee McQueen turns out to be quite good at selling thongs. Lee McQueen pronounces it "fongs," obviously. The actual dresses, however, are not selling like hot cakes. Neither, on the other team, are the cakes. In fact while Alex pouts his way into selling quite a few tacky dresses, not one cake gets sold by Helene's team all day, possibly because Michael and Sara's sales approach is to scream BUY THIS CAKE NOW OR IT WILL BE GONE at people. I think they got their sales technique from chain emails - BUY THIS CAKE AND FEED IT TO TEN OF YOUR FRIENDS OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE WILL DIE!

But Lucinda's team still hasn't sold a dress. Raef's heart isn't really in this task so he's not quite his usual dapper self. In one odd interlude he puts on a giant teddy bear outfit, wanders around in it a bit, and then gets changed again. Not his finest hour. But in a typical Apprentice last-minute-swap, the gamble of going for the expensive frocks pays off, as the day draws to an end and three brides decide they really can't go without that two-and-a-half-grand designer dress, and come back to seal the deal, allowing Lucinda's team to win, and pwn the opposition by several thousand pounds.

Boardroom, Helene lets Alex off from the facing the firing line (although Sralan's on to him pointing out that Alex is always on the losing team but Project Managers always let him off - he doesn't say it, but the implication is that PMs only let him off because they want to touch his winky. Possibly.) Helene's product choice was shit, but Sara and Michael have too many strikes against them by this point so Sara goes. I still don't know what the mysterious behind-the-scenes stuff was that led to all the others ganging up on her quite so badly, but I wouldn't be surprised if her tendency to drone on while other people were talking had something to do with it. And the way she worryingly rocks backwards and forwards while talking to camera makes me a bit queasy, but that might not have been a factor. Anyway, she's gone now. Next week: Selling tissues. Or something.
Tags: apprentice
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