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So anyway,
Because what the Net really needs is another person sharing his uninformed views
Twitter ye not 14: It doesn't rhyme, but it's true 
24th-Jun-2009 07:40 pm
I'm coming dangerously close to my 1000th tweet... now that The Apprentice isn't on I won't get there quite as quickly but it's looming all the same...

If you're going to wear shorts, skinny Chris Klein lookalike, I'm going to look at your legs. I'm only human.
8:15 AM Jun 17th from txt

33 working days to go. Today started with bonus cunty email from boss. Clearly there's going to be a theme to my last few weeks.
9:13 AM Jun 17th from web

I saw a mouse! Where? Not on the stair, in the warehouse. It doesn't rhyme, but it's true.
11:45 AM Jun 17th from web

#nicerfilmtitles The Last House On The Left With The Lovely Rosebush In The Front Garden
4:01 PM Jun 17th from web

#nicerfilmtitles The Man With The Golden Grahams
4:11 PM Jun 17th from web

History Boy Spot: Andrew Knott at the National. I'm now 1/3 of the way to spotting the whole set.
10:16 PM Jun 18th from txt

Tell a lie, he's the 4th I've spotted so half of them. I'd forgotten Gay History Boy (in addition to Sporty, Religious & Other.)
10:24 PM Jun 18th from txt

@merseytart I've seen Religious HB's cock, if that helps.
11:34 PM Jun 18th from web in reply to merseytart

If I could resist the temptation to go see pretty boys at the theatre, I wouldn't have ended up with shows on 4 consecutive nights in July
1:18 PM Jun 19th from web

...but @Greggoires really is implausibly pretty, and besides he was good in New Boy. So another show got added to the list. *sigh*
1:23 PM Jun 19th from web

@denniskeesmaat The potential LeeFromSteps hilarity is just the icing on the cake. (The spelling of "taut" is the cherry, obvs.)
1:31 PM Jun 19th from web in reply to denniskeesmaat

@nick00031 I think if a percentage of your trips are purely for artistic purposes and not ogling, it makes it OK. 1% should do it.
2:38 PM Jun 19th from web in reply to nick00031

I just caught a fly! I can be President plz?
6:56 PM Jun 20th from txt

I don't expect amazing weather but my room's FREEZING. It's June for frack's sake!
8:34 PM Jun 20th from web

Note to self: Imported Japanese soft drinks tend not to be a good idea.
4:59 PM Jun 21st from web

Blimey! A car's on fire across the road! It's not blown up tho, the movies lie.
8:53 PM Jun 21st from txt

http://twitpic.com/81a9p - Car fire! Fiery car!
9:16 PM Jun 21st from TwitPic

@helencairns No, it was very exciting indeed. "Should I be standing here? Is it going to blow up?"
9:18 PM Jun 21st from web in reply to helencairns

@sutty76 I need to re-read Y TLM as well - I love it but I'm not sold on the ending.
9:58 PM Jun 21st from web in reply to sutty76

@merseytart Bless cameraphones! Recording other people's misfortunes is what they're for. (That and dirty photos I suppose.)
10:14 PM Jun 21st from web in reply to merseytart

Oh fucking shut up co-worker, I am seriously close to violence.
12:45 PM Jun 23rd from web

O hai, kickboxing van driver who's come back from holiday with a tan. Unf.
2:18 PM Jun 23rd from web
(Deleted comment)
25th-Jun-2009 01:20 pm (UTC)
was the mouse wearing doc martens and a hard hat instead of clogs?

A leotard and legwarmers. There was another mouse looking at it going "bitch, you so eighties."
25th-Jun-2009 09:11 am (UTC)
At least your tweets are interesting and funny - Unlike most that appear on my feed.
25th-Jun-2009 01:17 pm (UTC)
Oh dear, you need to find new people to follow!
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