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Because what the Net really needs is another person sharing his uninformed views
Twitter ye not 36: Biscuits not botox 
25th-Nov-2009 04:14 pm
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I guess this is the last week for a while of my tweets going into meltdown every Saturday and Sunday night since I won't be as fussed about X-Factor now Jedward are gone. Although if I'm at home I'll probably join in with the OH MY GOD MAKE HIS ENORMOUS MOUTH GO AWAY comments every time Danyl's on screen - it's only polite. I did tweet about some other stuff this week too, honest.

If it *is* Wham day on Saturday, then surely "Wham Rap"? #songsthatjedwardshouldsing
1:14 PM Nov 18th from web

Whoa. Sudden energy-drain. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.........
5:49 PM Nov 18th from web

That's it, I'm going to the corner shop for some chocolate which I'm totally allowed every so often. I feel sugar-deficient.
7:34 PM Nov 18th from web

Heh, Sam from Lead Balloon is a baddie in Spooks.
9:06 PM Nov 18th from web

Another Spook bites the dust :(
9:57 PM Nov 18th from web

Seriously TrueBlood, opening the episode with Paquin's boobs is not the way to make me keep watching. *needs mind-bleach*
10:10 PM Nov 18th from web

Let The Right One In = very, very faithful to the book, only one major subplot cut out.
3:59 PM Nov 19th from web

I don't think I've ever NOT had a seat upgrade at the Vaudeville.
7:14 PM Nov 19th from txt

Why does To Buy Or Not To Buy insist on putting that creepy-looking man on telly when I'm trying to do cardio? *queasy*
11:55 AM Nov 20th from txt

Seriously, he looks like the Aphex Twin.
11:55 AM Nov 20th from txt

It was legs & abs this morning. Now I don't think I can walk again today. Possibly ever.
2:30 PM Nov 20th from web

As if X Factor didn't rape the memory of Freddie Mercury enough, Children in Need have roped in the Hollyoaks cast for the final insult.
8:08 PM Nov 20th from web

It's not true that all Welsh people can sing well. Exhibit A: Elliott from t'Oaks.
8:10 PM Nov 20th from web

And the HORROR of Rubbish Tranny: "I'm goyna mayke a saypersonic woman ay yay!"
8:10 PM Nov 20th from web

Beautiful People was so good this week.
10:04 PM Nov 20th from web

"You actually bury people under the floorboards? Fred, Rose, you're hilarious!" #beautifulpeople
10:11 PM Nov 20th from web

"Oh shammy shammy shoo, dappy dappy dappy doo!" #beautifulpeople
10:24 PM Nov 20th from web

"I don't know if you've seen The Sound of Music... Well you're watching this so you probably have." #beautifulpeople
10:31 PM Nov 20th from web

@sutty76 "For light muggings or burglaries, press 3."
10:32 PM Nov 20th from web in reply to sutty76

"Everybody loves Michael McIntyre." The dictionary definition of false advertising.
10:57 PM Nov 20th from web

Catching up with today's Merlin. O hai, Arthur in a towel.
8:02 PM Nov 21st from web

Oh no Cheryl's raided Minnie Mouse's dressing-up box and stolen her bow! #xfactor
8:07 PM Nov 21st from web

"It's George Michael week! He's watching from home! Shit, whose job was it to invite him?" #xfactor
8:09 PM Nov 21st from web

Well the haircut's not bad. SEE I CAN SAY NICE THINGS ABOUT LLOYD! #xfactor
8:13 PM Nov 21st from web

"It's Lloyd Daniels!" Funny, I'd heard that about Lloyd being Danyl's as well. #xfactor
8:16 PM Nov 21st from web

@helencairns I know. Apart from anything else it seems a bit implausible that there could be gayness that doesn't involve Joe.
8:25 PM Nov 21st from web in reply to helencairns

Stacey was a bit off tonight, no?
8:26 PM Nov 21st from web

I think Stacey's personality may have finally jumped the shark for me :( #xfactor
8:28 PM Nov 21st from web

OK, for once I sort-of chuckled at the rip-off competition question's comedy answer. "I'm loving Angel Delight." #xfactor
8:29 PM Nov 21st from web

So both Simon's acts are near the end of the show? Well that's fair. #xfactor
8:34 PM Nov 21st from web

Er, OK that was weird. And not in the way it's usually weird. #xfactor #jedward
8:38 PM Nov 21st from web

I like to think their names were written on the stage in case they forgot. #xfactor #jedward
8:41 PM Nov 21st from web

Oh wow turns out BISEXUAL GAY Danyl is also from a little village! (Reading.) #xfactor
8:43 PM Nov 21st from web

"Danyl's bold new arrangement" trans: "Don't bother with the actual notes in the song Danyl, just do any old shit." #xfactor
8:51 PM Nov 21st from web

Can we swap Olly for his mates? Would. #xfactor
8:55 PM Nov 21st from web

"I'm gonna be more current." To be fair the only way to be LESS current would be to sing Greensleeves. #xfactor
8:56 PM Nov 21st from web

Jesus! "I ain't Mr Right," you're not Mr Can Sing In Tune this week either, my poor ears! #xfactor
8:57 PM Nov 21st from web

Simon's theme this week is "making it different" i.e. they couldn't actually hit the original notes. Or the new ones, as it turns out.
9:01 PM Nov 21st from web

Not to be all Louis' rulebook, but why do songs GM did covers of count as GM songs? This should be for Sir Elton week. #xfactor
9:10 PM Nov 21st from web

Also, there's been a criminal lack of the Wham. #xfactor
9:10 PM Nov 21st from web

I want to cuddle Joe but he would have to keep his clothes on. This is rare for me. #xfactor
9:12 PM Nov 21st from web

@helencairns Louis also missed "I Can't Make You Love Me." So out of 6 songs in GM week, only 4 GM songs. No wonder he stayed at home.
9:14 PM Nov 21st from web in reply to helencairns

SuBo's coming home? You know she wasn't actually on your show, right Dermot? #xfactor
9:17 PM Nov 21st from web

I just noticed, Twitter have changed "What are you doing?" to "What's happening?" I quite like the old version...
9:22 PM Nov 21st from web

...I always imagined it with an eye-roll - "What ARE you doing?"
9:23 PM Nov 21st from web

MY POINT ISN'T FLIPPANT! Caller thinks she's on Question Time. #xfactor
9:32 PM Nov 21st from web

Lloyd always sleeping on the sofa is taking on sinister overtones in light of recent rumours. #xfactor
9:58 PM Nov 21st from web

And it looks like the group song tomorrow IS WMUBYGo-Go, which is fair enough #xfactor
10:01 PM Nov 21st from web

I bet #jedward go this week, which would be annoying, I want them to stay next week so we can watch them in the pub after coffee #xfactor
10:02 PM Nov 21st from web

Holly haven't you learned by now? Lloyd can only handle yes/no questions, and even then only just. #xfactor
10:04 PM Nov 21st from web

"Olly, I'm going to out you." Holly, that is really not the phrase to use with this particular group of people. #xfactor
10:14 PM Nov 21st from web

All night I dreamed that I kept getting diagnosed with terminal diseases, then got better. WTF?
11:16 AM Nov 22nd from web


Oh wow, some sunlight! This may be my one chance to leave the house today without drowning.
1:14 PM Nov 22nd from web

I know I haven't been to Totty Sunday for a while but has it been cancelled? It's a bloody WASTELAND here!
1:47 PM Nov 22nd from txt

Wait, did they get their lines wrong? I thought this bit was lip-synced? #xfactor
8:07 PM Nov 22nd from web

These new OXO families are shit, but at least they're keeping Lynda Bellingham out of a job.
8:20 PM Nov 22nd from web

SHE'S HAIRY! SHE'S SCARY! SHE'S MARIAH CAREY!
8:25 PM Nov 22nd from web

See, this woman is to blame for all the tossers on this show who just sing any old notes and get told they made the song their own #xfactor
8:29 PM Nov 22nd from web

Stacey & Joe - start with the most obvious ones. #xfactor
8:37 PM Nov 22nd from web

Ah well that's Jedward gone. To be honest, WORTH IT to see Olly deservedly in the Bottom 2 tralala. #xfactor
8:39 PM Nov 22nd from web

Although Dannii and Cheryl tactically voting out Olly would of course be hilariarse. And fair enough AFAIC. #xfactor
8:40 PM Nov 22nd from web

@aka_kelly Well true but Olly desperately needed his bubble burst (and he was shit last night) #xfactor
8:41 PM Nov 22nd from web in reply to aka_kelly

During the ad break, Simon is reminding the other judges he can fire them if they don't behave themselves. #xfactor
8:43 PM Nov 22nd from web

Aw, bless'em going out on a high (by singing different lyrics to each other, obvs) #xfactor
8:48 PM Nov 22nd from web

This song needs the suicidal horse from Big Train. #xfactor
8:51 PM Nov 22nd from web

Go on, Dannii, go to deadlock! (She won't)
8:52 PM Nov 22nd from web

@helencairns She still toyed with him like a cat with a mouse, which was nice.
8:56 PM Nov 22nd from web in reply to helencairns

"I think Danyl's gorgeous." I *KNEW* I didn't like that Paloma Faith! #xfactor
9:02 PM Nov 22nd from web

@coxyine17 Lloyd's sandwiched between Danyl and Olly, let's start a new vomit-inducing rumour!
9:40 PM Nov 22nd from web in reply to coxyine17

"What are the press going to write about now?" Ummmm, let me think... #xfactor
9:42 PM Nov 22nd from web

"What do you want to do now?" "Everything we want to do." Er, and that is..? #xfactor
9:55 PM Nov 22nd from web

Yet another personal trainer ill, yet another new trainer today. He was cute, albeit a bit gormless.
1:55 PM Nov 23rd from web

"Gorm" is one of those things entirely defined by its absence. What does a gormful person look like?
1:58 PM Nov 23rd from web

Halfway in and sadly Paradox is awful-awful, not Bonekickers-awful :(
9:31 PM Nov 24th from web

Step away from the nannas Myleene! Nannas like biscuits, not botox!
11:21 PM Nov 24th from web
Comments 
(Deleted comment)
26th-Nov-2009 01:19 pm (UTC)
She still looks exactly like she did when she was twelve and won the Oscar so it's all a bit disturbing for me.
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