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So anyway,
Because what the Net really needs is another person sharing his uninformed views
Twitter ye not 37: Well done with the secrecy, spies! 
2nd-Dec-2009 03:10 pm
This week on Twitter I have been mostly chuckling at a fake Cheryl Cole (@CherylKerl) who tweets phonetically-spelt "gossip" from behind the scenes at X Factor. And obviously tweeting my own X Factor thoughts, although those have mostly been self-censored because of that story that nobody's supposed to know about, let alone mention. Yeah, that one.

Old man: If the changing room's half-empty but you still squeeze yourself in between me and another naked young guy, I'm making assumptions.
1:12 PM Nov 25th from web

And by assumptions I mean from now on you will be referred to as Mr Herbert from Family Guy.
1:13 PM Nov 25th from web

#spooks turning into American Beauty = a bit odd
9:04 PM Nov 25th from web

"I'll look after him." Coming from Ros these are the least reassuring words in the English language #spooks
9:09 PM Nov 25th from web

2 spies having secret affair. EVERYONE knows. Well done with the secrecy, spies! #spooks
9:20 PM Nov 25th from web

"Oleg, she means nothing to me, I only love you!" #spooks is getting more slashtacular than Merlin.
9:32 PM Nov 25th from web

Can we have a "don't watch this when you're eating" warning before the man-vomiting-up-a-rat advert please?
11:05 PM Nov 25th from web

I really should make a move and go for a haircut...
9:45 AM Nov 26th from web

Haircut = trapped in a chair having to listen to TalkSport :( Still, THE HORROR's over for another month.
11:44 AM Nov 26th from txt

Caffè Nero Long Acre is SO gay today. I mean lots of couples, not that my own gayness is overpowering the shop.
6:47 PM Nov 26th from txt

Totty Friday: "I saw your bum a couple of hours ago in the changing room" edition.
2:33 PM Nov 27th from web

How could I forget? PT & I managed to break 2 (TWO) gym machines this morning. *weirdly proud*
7:10 PM Nov 27th from txt

I've had better evenings.
11:51 PM Nov 27th from web

Oh, Greenwich has new Xmas decorations this year! Maybe they realised they kept hanging the old ones upside-down.
10:08 PM Nov 28th from txt

Dear Dan, either open your mouth properly when you speak, or slow down, I can't understand a word you're saying #gossipgirl
10:45 AM Nov 29th from web

Totty Sunday: Sporty edition.
12:12 PM Nov 29th from txt

Seriously, am I getting another cold ALREADY? My throat's like razor blades :(
7:11 PM Nov 29th from web

"The final 5 sang their hearts out!" And I puked my guts out. I was in the pub, Olly was writhing, *vom* #xfactor
8:03 PM Nov 29th from web

Is it even possible to do a completely joyless version of "I Don't Feel Like Dancin'"? Apparently it is. #xfactor
8:09 PM Nov 29th from web

"There's only one woman in the flow." Bloody women, always talking about periods. #xfactor
8:29 PM Nov 29th from web

My bad-taste joke mojo is failing. There must be a Rihanna/Cheryl violence joke somewhere but I can't find it. #xfactor
8:41 PM Nov 29th from web

@helencairns "If you're missing your ex, Rihanna, maybe Cheryl can help recreate the magic."
8:46 PM Nov 29th from web in reply to helencairns

"Lloyd's got the full package," who told you that Cheryl, was it Da OH YOU KNOW WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS #xfactor
8:47 PM Nov 29th from web

"In no particular order" but the obvious two go first. #xfactor
8:50 PM Nov 29th from web

"Do you have a highlight?" "No." How many times, Dermot, don't expect Lloyd to say words! #xfactor
8:53 PM Nov 29th from web

Was I the only one thinking Lloyd was going to say his highlight was getting CENSORED up the CENSORED by CENSORED? #xfactor
8:57 PM Nov 29th from web

Go on, Xtra Factor callers. "Danyl, are you upset now Lloyd's gone you won't be able to WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES" #xfactor
9:36 PM Nov 29th from web

Holly would like to see Joe and lloyd have a fight. So would Danyl. Naked. In oil. #xfactor
9:38 PM Nov 29th from web

Ugh, get Marc Wooton off my telly! Three years at university with him was more than enough. #nativity
9:50 PM Nov 29th from web

Not that they're saying "Lloyd will have lots of girls after him" all the time to detract attention from anything. #xfactor
9:57 PM Nov 29th from web

RT @CherylKerl Ah neva gorra wink of sleep last neet cos LLoyd was baalin iz ize oot. He wanted inte wor bed but Ash wouldn't lerrim leik.
9:28 AM Nov 30th from web

Why am I getting ill again? I thought getting fitter was meant to improve my immune system, not knacker it.
9:41 AM Nov 30th from web

Happy December everyone. 31 days left to the end of the decade, yeesh. #red
11:19 AM Dec 1st from web

Weird. For the first time in YEARS I felt über-Christmassy. While buying vitamins in Boots. #red
1:50 PM Dec 1st from txt

I'm hoping my feeling ill yesterday was a false alarm - feel much better now, just hope there isn't a relapse lurking #red
5:07 PM Dec 1st from web

I think we may have a winner for worst free "song" ever given away by iTunes as Single of the Week #red
5:47 PM Dec 1st from web

Last year's Xmas stamps were secular so there was a Jesus-y alternative. This year's are religious, where's my secular alternative? #red
6:49 PM Dec 1st from web
2nd-Dec-2009 08:28 pm (UTC) - Changing Room Etiquette
So did the other young guy arrive after you and sit close enough for the old man to squeeze between you both? Or did you squeeze next to the youngster when you arrived? Wink.
2nd-Dec-2009 09:34 pm (UTC) - Re: Changing Room Etiquette
Are you suggesting I may be employing double standards re: changing room perving? LOL

As I recall, there were more people around when I went into the changing room. By the time I came out of the shower there was just me and the other naked guy.
(Deleted comment)
5th-Dec-2009 12:11 am (UTC)
Actually the red was just me replicating the effect on Twitter that day - if you put #red in your tweet on Dec 1st, it turned the letters red to mark World Aids Day.
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