I said I wasn't going to be doing weekly X Factor
reviews, but in a way that's what great big chunks of these Twitter roundups are at the moment. In other "insignificant things what done happened to me" news, I was quite amused when both my sleb spots of Ben Barnes got retweeted by a Ben Barnes fan feed, despite the fact that I done a joke about him having VD in one of them:
Sleb Spot: Ben Barnes going into Boots at Picc Circus. RIDDLED, I bet.
5:13 PM Sep 29th via txt
That's 3 times over the course of an hour that Ben Barnes has walked past me. I do attract these stalkers.
6:04 PM Sep 29th via txt
Theatre review: Flashdance the Musical http://j.mp/bdZoWa
1:00 AM Sep 30th via LiveJournal.com
I enjoyed writing that review so much more than actually watching the show.
1:02 AM Sep 30th via web
@merseytart I suffer through these things so others don't have to.
10:52 AM Sep 30th via web in reply to merseytart
Ugh. Fuck you, National Theatre booking website that gets overloaded 10 seconds after booking opens.
8:35 AM Oct 1st via web
So... that's three texted tweets now that haven't shown up on Twitter? And there's me being SO DAMN WITTY!
6:13 PM Oct 1st via web
Right, is it working now?
6:15 PM Oct 1st via txt
Planet of the Daleks has more references to "the top of the shaft" than I can handle without sniggering.
8:08 PM Oct 1st via txt
I know that purple "live music" pub Ferlickerty Kendall is sitting outside, don't I? Do I? #scdtrailer
8:30 PM Oct 1st via web
Is it just me who'd do Matt Baker partly *because* he's so cringeingly naff? I just want to corrupt him. #scd
9:41 PM Oct 1st via web
Already intrigued by this afternoon's show - so far I've received a menacing phone call to tell me where it starts.
11:15 AM Oct 2nd via web
All his teachers told him he was too old? Just how many times did he get held back? #xfactor
8:00 PM Oct 2nd via web
If I click my fingers, will a computer open out of Sinitta's forehead? Did Tamsin Greig install it for her? #xfactor #doctorwho
8:11 PM Oct 2nd via web
They called the girl group Bel Ami? I think they might be going for the wrong audience with that name. #xfactor
8:13 PM Oct 2nd via web
"Wow, the best boyband are the one I put together myself!" Shocka. #xfactor
8:26 PM Oct 2nd via web
"I don't know what kind of idol I am." Cunt Idol. Hate, Hate, Hate. #xfactor
8:41 PM Oct 2nd via web
Christ, Cheryl's determined to get Hatey through no matter what. #xfactor
8:44 PM Oct 2nd via web
Cher Lloyd is bloody TERRIFYING. Like a china doll that suddenly turns its head in a horror movie. #xfactor
8:53 PM Oct 2nd via web
Tomorrow's show is 1hr 15mins. So 1hr of recap and 15mins of "you're through?" #xfactor
8:59 PM Oct 2nd via web
Amanda Holden's face is Grade II listed by English Heritage: http://t.co/lS25BU9
6:31 PM Oct 3rd via Tweet Button
I wonder if the word "fix" might mysteriously start trending around the time Cheryl picks her three tonight? #xfactor
6:36 PM Oct 3rd via web
THEY CAME! But enough about Louis as soon as Tom stepped on stage. #xfactor
7:46 PM Oct 3rd via web
Was Dannii wanking someone off while she said "you're in my top three?" #xfactor
7:47 PM Oct 3rd via web
Wait, are we going to ads after 4 minutes of recap? Good to see there's a good reason for the 1hr 15mins runtime. #xfactor
7:50 PM Oct 3rd via web
I can't imagine what Dannii saw in Aiden, I mean he's IN NO WAY similar to any previous winners, like last year's f'rinstance. #xfactor
7:59 PM Oct 3rd via web
I liked Karl but since we've hardly seen him until judge's houses he was never going to make it. #xfactor
8:01 PM Oct 3rd via web
Oops, now Tom has to go back to Wales, AKA the worst place in the world, according to him. I'm sure he'll be welcomed back. #xfactor
8:02 PM Oct 3rd via web
And I'm getting to love Nicolo, although I'm not sure the producers have figured out yet that he's not taking himself seriously. #xfactor
8:04 PM Oct 3rd via web
So, so far the ENTIRELY FALSE AND WRONG leaked contestant list is right... #xfactor
8:06 PM Oct 3rd via web
*Horror movie opening* Next up: Sharon's face. #xfactor
8:11 PM Oct 3rd via web
Sharon's face speaks volumes. Sadly all the pages are blank. #xfactor
8:13 PM Oct 3rd via web
And if you don't win this Mary, I'm sure there's one or two talent shows left in the world that you haven't been on yet. #xfactor
8:21 PM Oct 3rd via web
Ah, BISEXUAL Danyl. We thought we'd seen the apex of cuntitude, and then Katie turned up. #xfactor
8:22 PM Oct 3rd via web
If Louis was doing the groups, he'd know why calling them Bel Ami was a bad idea #xfactor
8:32 PM Oct 3rd via web
Dear Wand Erection: First PR lesson - never, ever let Harry speak. #xfactor
8:39 PM Oct 3rd via web
IS THAT THE FIRST OFFICIAL CHRISTMAS ADVERT? Bloody Tesco. First Mary, now this #adsofthexfactor
8:41 PM Oct 3rd via web
If Hatey gets in over Gamu I will cut a bitch. #xfactor
8:47 PM Oct 3rd via web
"There's a little something people might find annoying. Like every cell in your body." #xfactor
8:50 PM Oct 3rd via web
Seriously Cheryl, you can fucking forget being the queen of my heart after that. #xfactor
8:52 PM Oct 3rd via web
"No second chances for anyone. NB: Second chances for white people." #xfactor
8:52 PM Oct 3rd via web
Just over a month to Bonfire Night. More than enough time for Katie to be the most popular effigy to burn this year. #xfactor
8:54 PM Oct 3rd via web
"There's lots of weird and wonderful things I can try with Katie." Start with murder please, Cheryl. #xfactor
8:56 PM Oct 3rd via web
Katie has fucked Michael Sophocles and James Blunt, and I STILL don't think she's suffered enough. #xfactor
9:03 PM Oct 3rd via web
Go on Wilton, I know you can make even #downtonabbey
a bit more bearable.
9:04 PM Oct 3rd via web
The good news for Gamu is she can now eat a lollipop without fear of violence. #xfactor
9:26 PM Oct 3rd via web
Hahaha Elizabeth McGovern just tried to do acting #fail #downtonabbey
9:29 PM Oct 3rd via web
These two are speaking in code again. #downtonabbey
9:38 PM Oct 3rd via web
Nope, sorry, I still can't make myself give a shit. #downtonabbey
9:47 PM Oct 3rd via web
@helencairns I read your earlier tweet as "I coughed up something that looked like Lily Allen" so it could have been a lot worse.
11:30 AM Oct 4th via web in reply to helencairns
I had my first "just legs" day in ages at the gym this morning. Accordingly I've been in a coma all afternoon.
3:48 PM Oct 4th via web
RIP Norman Wisdom - national day of mourning in Albania?
11:54 AM Oct 5th via web
Comedy Central's "Cheer up, Two And A Half Men's on!" poster is making me want to jump in front of a train.
5 Oct via txt
Sleb Spot: Charlie Cox at Shepherd's Bush Tube.
5 Oct via txt