My iPod played three Glee tunes in a row on shuffle. I think it's trying to tell me something #gleeconcert
12:06 PM Nov 24th via web
Facebook have copyrighted the word "face." Unless you've got written permission you have to call it "the bit at the front of the head" now.
5:56 PM Nov 24th via web
Just in case the idea of working for Kelvin McKenzie wasn't appalling enough, he'd make sure there was a StuBaggs in every team. #apprentice
10:27 PM Nov 24th via web
Ugh, been talking to the landlord about him sorting out my new microwave and now I stink of his fags.
4:34 PM Nov 25th via web
Jeebus, I did *not* think Iwan Rheon would look like that with his shirt off. *falls over* #misfits
11:09 PM Nov 25th via web
Bernard Matthews dying on Thanksgiving. Even in death, he gives us the gift of irony. The bootiful gift of irony.
12:10 PM Nov 26th via web
I'm going to pretend I haven't seen that Daniel Boys vid for a day or 2. Still reeling from Iwan Rheon, my nerves can't take it all at once.
4:50 PM Nov 26th via web
@denniskeesmaat I don't know, I've forgotten it exists. (But you could try gayspy on digitalspy. Bring tissues.)
4:53 PM Nov 26th via web in reply to denniskeesmaat
@denniskeesmaat Indeed. *needs a bit of a lie-down due to blood mysteriously rushing away from head*
5:01 PM Nov 26th via web in reply to denniskeesmaat
@denniskeesmaat I suspect he may concertize clothed. Which sounds a bit pointless to me.
5:04 PM Nov 26th via web in reply to denniskeesmaat
JLS are doing a Twilight-themed tour? ABORT, JLS, ABORT! It didn't work for Aiden Grimshaw, it won't work for you!
11:13 AM Nov 27th via txt
Who would ever go to a dentist who looks like Charles Manson? #adsofthexfactor
9:23 PM Nov 27th via txt
I know rule 1 of the Highway Code is "red lights are for other people" but I wish people wouldn't try to run me over when I cross the road.
2:51 PM Nov 28th via web
Nicole Shitsinger, you must now perform better than any previous judge has this year. The good news is, this won't be hard. #xfactor
8:02 PM Nov 28th via web
Modelling yourself after Halle Berry's Catwoman was a great idea, Nicole Shitsinger. That was such a big success too. #xfactor
8:27 PM Nov 28th via web
"Hatey's been through hell the last 8 weeks." We know, she's put us through it as well. #xfactor
8:40 PM Nov 28th via web
That performance had a strong impact on me. It made me realise how many fillings Mary has. #xfactor
8:52 PM Nov 28th via web
How gracious of Cheryl to accept Wagner's apology. He didn't actually apologise of course just pointed out she was talking bollocks #xfactor
8:57 PM Nov 28th via web
"We've put this show back in the hands of the public. I hate when we have to do that." #xfactor
8:59 PM Nov 28th via web
Mary lost her voice this week. Luckily she bought a new one and got Clubcard points with it too! #xfactor
9:01 PM Nov 28th via web
Hee, some caller on #xtrafactor just said the forbidden words "Steve and Leon." In relation to Matt Cardle. I'm saying nothing. #xfactor
9:19 PM Nov 28th via web
I could swear the picture on the curtains in that window is Pooh bumming Tigger.
11:38 AM Nov 29th via txt
"You look shaken by Leslie Nielsen's death, like you could use something to calm your nerves. Cigarette?" "Yes, it is."
12:09 PM Nov 29th via web
Ooh, I tore open an envelope and the tear is in the exact shape of The Crack In The Wall on Doctor Who!
3:44 PM Nov 29th via web
But it's junk mail from Prowler so instead of an interdimensional prison inside, it's dildos.
3:44 PM Nov 29th via web
@nick00031 There's definitely a Classic Who monster notorious for looking like a circumcised cock but I'd have to ask an expert which story.
6:29 PM Nov 29th via web in reply to nick00031
@nick00031 I was so chuffed when Simon called Zayn "Olly" and I finally had a complete set of nicknames.
7:05 PM Nov 29th via txt
Aaaaand here comes the pain in the back of the legs from this morning at the gym, right on cue.
10:14 PM Nov 29th via web
Let's hope Cheryl Cole's US career doesn't get big enough for her to meet the President. Or if it does let's hope he doesn't have a lollipop
10:16 AM Nov 30th via web
Hope all three people I'm going with make it to the theatre tonight, I'll be gutted if they miss this one.
3:58 PM Nov 30th via web
Obviously I hope I make it as well. Especially since I've got the tickets.
3:59 PM Nov 30th via web
Met (/stalked)Rupert Goold tonight! Nice man, I impressed him by understanding some of the directorial decisions people don't always get LOL
11:26 PM Nov 30th via txt
