For this week's bit of Twitter timewasting, I have mainly not been allowing the fact that I didn't actually watch more than about 3 minutes of the Royal Wedding to stop me from commenting
Fighting the compulsion to do a "Miranda" and pull strangers' saggy jeans up.
2:01 PM Apr 27th via txt
People need to stop worrying about Kate Middleton's virginity or lack of it. They've only done it up the bum until now, so it's fine.
4:50 PM Apr 28th via web
Don't bother eyeing up my legroom, woman sitting next to me. You brought half a dozen bags to the theatre, you sit with them.
9:06 PM Apr 28th via txt
Yeesh, I've just turned to the Royal Wedding and they're doing bondage.
11:21 AM Apr 29th via web
James Middleton: "I appeal to you." Me: "You don't, actually. It's not even like I'm picky usually, but no."
11:26 AM Apr 29th via web
It seems Kate's mum isn't actually Buffy's fake Watcher. I CAN'T BELIEVE A HASTILY-MADE TV MOVIE LIED TO ME!
11:39 AM Apr 29th via web
I bet Kate doesn't really have an American accent either.
11:41 AM Apr 29th via web
Right, I'm switching off. I'm not sitting through a bloody wedding if I'm not even getting cake.
11:47 AM Apr 29th via web
Turns out London not that packed at the mo. Except Old Compton Street. *insert joke about Queens of England*
6:59 PM Apr 29th via txt
I've been out, Twitter, please update me: Has Pippa had some ginger cock yet? I'm assuming TV coverage has continued to the Buck House loos.
11:32 PM Apr 29th via web
"Will & Kate will be hoping for some privacy on honeymoon. Now let's go to our reporter camped outside their bedroom window."
9:34 AM Apr 30th via txt
Yesterday a prince asked a young lady the big question. Apparently Pippa's reply was "face."
11:37 AM Apr 30th via web
Blimey. Yer actual exploded car on Trafalgar Road.
10:09 PM Apr 30th via txt
Wait, what? Blaine's not allowed out of the house without his naff school uniform on. #glee
9:32 PM May 2nd via web
I hate when I can't tell what it is about the review that offended the commenter. http://t.co/qrjvMtA
11:50 AM May 3rd via Tweet Button
@Chrisrubery It's funny how my right to an opinion is never questioned when it's a positive review...
12:53 PM May 3rd via web
It's really rather cold tonight. FFS it's May, April was lovely. Someone get the weather a calendar.
11:36 PM May 3rd via web