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So anyway,
Because what the Net really needs is another person sharing his uninformed views
We the Tweeple 27: Eggs Benedick 
21st-Sep-2011 10:00 am
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This week on my Twitter feed, I go to Stratford Upon Avon, where they're running out of shops with clunky Shakespearean names so I'm having to invent my own.

Cheryl Cole boosting army morale in Iraq. "Cheer up, at least you didn't get sacked from the X Factor."
15 Sep via TwimGo 2

Cheryl will also train the troops in the latest combat techniques to fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love.
15 Sep via TwimGo 2

I seem to be correctly answering a lot of Cosby Show-related questions on TV quizzes. Who knew it was my specialist subject? #pointless
15 Sep via TwimGo 2

Sleb Spot: Alex Jennings, Clink Street.
15 Sep via TwimGo 2

Call yourself an alternative route, DLR? MOVE FASTER!
16 Sep via TwimGo 2

Wearing my Catch Me If You Can shirt proved ironic as that's what I feel this train has been saying to me all morning.
16 Sep via TwimGo 2

I did catch it, by the way. I'm totally the Hanratty of trains.
16 Sep via TwimGo 2

In #stratforduponavon now, meaning I miss bumping into @3rdspearcarrier & @Weez by a mere day.
16 Sep via TwimGo 2

Though, having seen The Homecoming before, I plan to be marginally less aghast than what they was.
16 Sep via TwimGo 2

@3rdspearcarrier @Weez last one I saw was the first UK production to cast a black actress as the wife. Whole bonus levels of fuckery.
16 Sep via TwimGo 2

#stratforduponavon hotel bathroom has Othello soap. Othello does seem to be the default "can't think of anything relevant" Shakespeary name.
16 Sep via TwimGo 2

Theatrical Spot: Alex Hassell accidentally bumping into me in Stratford.
16 Sep via TwimGo 2

@3rdspearcarrier I'll have you know I was sitting at a table and he nearly took my head off with his bag. I have a witness.
16 Sep via TwimGo 2

Review of Merchant of Venice may be delayed as me and friend pick it to pieces.
16 Sep via web

I've concluded that if I opened a shop in #stratforduponavon it would be a cafe called Eggs Benedick.
18 Sep via TwimGo 2

Still nearly an hour to wait, for a train I'm not remotely convinced will actually exist.
18 Sep via TwimGo 2

Group of teenage boys on train are genuinely excited about the new season of 2 & a half men. I officially despair for the nation's future.
18 Sep via txt

@merseytart this is a more depressing insight into The Youth than the riots. "BUT HOW WILL THEY GET ASHTON KUTCHER ONTO THE SHOW?!?!?"
18 Sep via txt

The trains both to AND from Stratford this weekend not only ran, but ran on time. This is literally a first.
18 Sep via txt

"Come on everyone, sing the notes I can't hit." I'm assuming he got expelled for getting someone else to do his homework. #xfactor
18 Sep via web

Seriously, what audition did they all hear? I heard the one where he couldn't hit half the notes and just huffed into the mic #xfactor
18 Sep via web

Also, how is singing for a couple of minutes without stabbing the judges proof of him having changed years' worth of behaviour? #xfactor
18 Sep via web

I love that she's brought her handbag on stage with her. #xfactor
18 Sep via web

I love those montages that are basically a load of people yelling "aaaaaaargh!" It rather sums the show up. #xfactor
18 Sep via web

Pushing small child across road in path of oncoming bus, while there's a zebra crossing a few feet away: Great mothering.
20 Sep via txt

Sleb Spot: Doon Machichan (sp) Royal Court bar.
20 Sep via txt
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