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So anyway,
Because what the Net really needs is another person sharing his uninformed views
We the Tweeple 30: Punk and skiffle 
12th-Oct-2011 12:23 pm
This week on my Twitter feed: I go back to the dentist after several years avoiding him, Spooks comes back to film in Greenwich after a few years away, and The X Factor goes to whatever planet it currently resides on.

Survived dentist's, all is well. Am I the only person who's as put off by the inevitable stern lecture as by the discomfort?
1:34 PM 5 Oct via web

You could floss after every meal and once more for luck and still get told to floss more. #itslikeyouvemisbehavedatschool
1:36 PM 5 Oct via web

Jude Law has major bumchin in that Contagion poster.
6:09 PM 5 Oct via trill

I thought I Sleb Spotted Jarvis Cocker, but it wasn't him. So @helencairns needn't lose bowel control with excitement.
6:19 PM 5 Oct via trill

@helencairns I mean, you can lose bowel control anyway if you want. For fun, like.
6:23 PM 5 Oct via trill

Lesbians! Curse you, @realmattlucas, for making me nearly sing THAT song every time I see a brace of them.
6:31 PM 5 Oct via trill

Britain's Got The Pop Factor etc Spot: The better-looking husband from 2 Up 2 Down, South Bank.
6:42 PM 5 Oct via trill

@Barcles Hence the convoluted attempt to avoid actually using the word "Sleb." Which, I know, isn't even a word.
6:51 PM 5 Oct via trill

Sleb Spot: Cillian Murphy watching The Veil.
8:45 PM 5 Oct via txt

I like that iTunes classifies the One Man Two Guvnors soundtrack as "punk." I mean, punk and skiffle are *nearly* the same, right?
3:43 PM 6 Oct via web

Sleb Spot: Tracey Ullman, in a hat, walking past Jan & me while we were still discussing the play we'd just seen her in.
10:26 PM 6 Oct via txt

Sleb Spot: David Troughton, ditto, but minus the hat.
10:28 PM 6 Oct via txt

Took me a while to figure out why I had "They Don't Know" stuck in my head. Dur!
11:00 PM 6 Oct via txt

@Weez once they turn the corner at the bottom of the road they're fair game again.
11:02 PM 6 Oct via txt

Yikes, just stopped myself jumping in fear at the sight of an old woman. To be fair, she did look like Brackie Stallone.
11:50 AM 7 Oct via trill

Yeah, Brackie.
11:52 AM 7 Oct via trill

Today my iPod on random is particularly fond of Rocky Horror.
1:25 PM 8 Oct via trill

It's more than 48 hours until my next theatre trip. Will I get the DTs?
4:29 PM 8 Oct via trill

"Who'll be the first to be sent home?" And also the fourth, keep up announcer. #xfactor
7:59 PM 9 Oct via web

"I did Boyzone, I did Westlife." Well, I'm sure you tried, Louis. #xfactor
8:08 PM 9 Oct via web

"Yeah, they were shit last night but look at what fucking WON last year. It clearly doesn't take much." #xfactor
8:13 PM 9 Oct via web

Oh Kitty, put some pants on woman. #xfactor
8:35 PM 9 Oct via web

The Sun is going to take out a fatwa on Louis Walsh. After all, soldiers are HEROESES! #xfactor
8:36 PM 9 Oct via web

"I hope that's not the last time you perform to millions. I mean, it will be, obviously. But you know." #xfactor
8:42 PM 9 Oct via web

Oh Christ, I'd forgotten about the group songs. They'll be bloody back next week, won't they? #xfactor
8:43 PM 9 Oct via web

No really though, it's "Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots: The Movie." #realsteel #adsofthexfactor
8:46 PM 9 Oct via web

"I spent the last 24 hours crying tears." As opposed to crying what, Tulisa? Gravy? #xfactor
8:49 PM 9 Oct via web

8:51 PM 9 Oct via web

"Y'all are going to see this girl everywhere! Lidl, ASDA, everywhere!" #xfactor
8:57 PM 9 Oct via web

Right, enough utterly ridiculous telly. I'm off to watch #spooks
9:03 PM 9 Oct via web

Ooh! Super-secret spy meeting down the road from me! Exciting! #spooks
9:22 PM 9 Oct via TwimGo 2

I like that Paul McCartney has a special church he only uses for marrying two-legged women.
11:01 PM 9 Oct via TwimGo 2

Forgive me if I have trouble believing "London's Foremost Contemporay Visual Arts Festival" is in Deptford.
10:40 AM 11 Oct via TwimGo 2

@merseytart There's autotune, and then there's getting Stephen Hawking to do the vocals for you.
1:55 PM 11 Oct via web

This may be the first time I've actually wished someone would start Riverdancing. It might wake me up #intervaltweets
8:54 PM 11 Oct via trill
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