This week on my Twitter feed
there's some more gubbins about dentists, Joanna Lumley gets a bit confused about the difference between reality and fiction, and my mum gives Vanessa Redgrave the Evil Eye.
@emslj They're making it up! Dentists' only goal in life is to tell you you're not brushing/flossing properly. It is their greatest joy.
3:45 PM 12 Oct via web
@Weez @3rdspearcarrier @emslj Dental conferences consist entirely of brainstorming wacky new ways to tell you you're doing it wrong #trufax
3:51 PM 12 Oct via web
@Weez @3rdspearcarrier @emslj That's how they get their story straight on what this year's guilt trip will be.
3:52 PM 12 Oct via web
@emslj @Weez @3rdspearcarrier I knew it! It's like The Witches, only slightly more sinister.
3:54 PM 12 Oct via web
The hexing must be a family trait: My mum didn't want to see Vanessa Redgrave, understudy ahoy!
7:12 PM 12 Oct via txt
I'm not even 100% sure who Kate Garraway is, but I still suspect that's not really her emailing me personally to sell me life insurance.
10:20 AM 13 Oct via web
My friend Richard has given Pinter a fair chance, but I think it's safe to say they just don't get on.
8:47 PM 13 Oct via TwimGo 2
I kind of want to take Joanna Lumley to one side and ask if she realises the Greek Gods aren't real. #joannalumleysgreekodyssey
12:03 PM 14 Oct via trill
"Apollo himself walked here." NO HE DIDN'T! #joannalumleysgreekodyssey
12:04 PM 14 Oct via trill
@Weez It's Ancient Greece - OBVIOUSLY anything involving bumming happened.
12:38 PM 14 Oct via trill
October 15th & I'm out in a t-shirt, no jacket. If climate change is going to kill us anyway, may as well enjoy it for now.
1:22 PM 15 Oct via TwimGo 2
There's people out in thick coats and scarves. I'm sure they dress for the calendar, not the actual weather.
1:24 PM 15 Oct via TwimGo 2
Christ. Is that fake tan, or has she been laminated?
1:52 PM 15 Oct via TwimGo 2
Once again I'm only watching the first half hour of #xfactor
for now. Because of Merlin. And because I like my sanity.
7:45 PM 15 Oct via web
@Weez That's what I do with the rest of it: Record the repeat then FF through about 98% of it. #xfactor
7:49 PM 15 Oct via web
"Not many people can sing that song." And yet it seems like about three a week try it on this show. #xfactor
8:06 PM 15 Oct via web
"The Risk! Of catching an STD! Is probably quite high!" #xfactor
9:21 PM15 Oct via web
The health lottery? Is that "will the New!NHS feel like curing me or not?" #adsofthexfactor #topicalsatire
9:34 PM 15 Oct via web
"You blow, blow, blow, blow, blow!" You said it. #xfactor
9:41 PM 15 Oct via web
I like how Zachary Quinto's "coming-out" wasn't really a coming-out at all, rather a correct assumption that everyone knew already.
4:47 PM 16 Oct via web
I still think the "let the choir sing!" bit in "Like a Prayer" sounds like she's singing "level crossing!"
5:53 PM 16 Oct via TwimGo 2
Tiny Hamlet ((c) @emslj) Spot: Joshua McGuire, Picadilly Line.
6:45 PM 16 Oct via TwimGo 2
@emslj He could reach the handrail on the tube, if you were wondering. Just about.
6:52 PM 16 Oct via TwimGo 2
Well this is... What is this? #intervaltweets
8:31 PM 16 Oct via txt
is feeling a bit dull and lifeless today, like hair that isn't Worth It.
4:52 PM 17 Oct via web
Bloody Hell, Belinda Lang hasn't half had some work done. And there's quite a lot of women with short hair at Sister George. #intervaltweets
8:55 PM 17 Oct via TwimGo 2
Racist old lady alert! I'm not clear on the details but it involved kicking a black woman on the bus.
10:48 AM 18 Oct via trill
@helencairns I *think* it involved her buttocks using up more than one seat but I may be wrong.
10:55 AM 18 Oct via trill
Leave me a sobbing wreck why don't you, Sarah Jane Adventures.
5:52 PM 18 Oct via trill