This week on my Twitter feed
starts with some good news and stays fairly low key. With the usual X Factor
gubbins, as a sea of faces that might as well be blank for all I can tell the difference between them, ends up on the live shows.
Good news, apparently Mum's symptoms caused by an eye problem, not a stroke. May take time to recover but still, bit of a relief.
11:37 AM - 26 Sep 12
Stop the presses, James and John both in shorts on next week's Bake-Off. Shorts! #gbbo
12:52 PM - 26 Sep 12
Seen Mum, she has 6th Nerve Palsy, which caused the blurred vision & headaches. Should be back to normal in 2-3 months.
3:44 PM - 27 Sep 12
Took Mum eyepatch-shopping. All the chemist had was plain black. She may get it patchazzled.
3:46 PM - 27 Sep 12
There's a "Jessie J: My story" book? How many pages does it take to say "I AM JUST THE WORST KIND OF PERSON"?
9:27 PM - 28 Sep 12
"I know, it's an emotional experience." Spoken with all the emotion of a dalek. #xfactor #toulaCONTOSTAVLOU
7:47 PM - 30 Sep 12
Toula CONTOSTAVLOU's next single to be autotuned version of her saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry." to rejects. #xfactor
1 RETWEET 1 FAVORITE
7:49 PM - 30 Sep 12
"Opportunities like this just don't come around." Except once a year. Twice if you include The Voice. OK, just once. #xfactor
7:52 PM - 30 Sep 12
Poor Miso Soup. #xfactor
8:02 PM - 30 Sep 12
And remember, 33% of your phone vote for MK1 goes to their creepy friend in the corner. #xfactor
9 RETWEETS 2 FAVORITES
8:03 PM - 30 Sep 12
Edited out: The bit where Louis had to wait a while before standing up after four twinks piled up on him #xfactor
8:10 PM - 30 Sep 12
Union J: "We can't wait to get to live shows and find out who the hell this bloke who's turned up in the middle of the group is." #xfactor
8:11 PM - 30 Sep 12
"The show's never had anyone like me before." No, dull boys who growl the notes they can't sing have been such a rarity. #xfactor
8:16 PM - 30 Sep 12
Now that James Arthur's through, hopefully he can stop scribbling on his arms in biro from nerves. That's what happened, right? #xfactor
8:19 PM - 30 Sep 12
"Jahmene, if I put you through there's a good chance you'll have a nervous breakdown live on TV. Ratings! You're through!" #xfactor
8:23 PM - 30 Sep 12
Best thing about Rylan getting through: The pain and misery Gary Barlow will go through. #xfactor
8:26 PM - 30 Sep 12
"I think I might projectile vomit over Gary" Understandable reaction, to be honest. #xfactor
8:34 PM - 30 Sep 12
"You've got something this competition's never seen before. Although obviously a similar competition saw it a decade ago." #xfactor
8:41 PM - 30 Sep 12
"See you later, what does that even mean?" Which word in this common phrase is the one confusing you? #adsofthexfactor
8:46 PM - 30 Sep 12
So all the judges took the "gamble" option except Barlow. SURPRISE! #xfactor
8:53 PM - 30 Sep 12
Thank fuck, if there's a song we haven't heard enough of this summer, it's "Read All About It." #xfactor
8:56 PM - 30 Sep 12
Ugh. See, you let Rylance back near Shakespeare's Globe, next thing you know the members' mag's all authorship this & "controversy" that.
11:59 AM - 1 Oct 12
Today I bought a new kettle, and my phone decided it was no longer on Orange, but EE. This is a downright unsettling amount of change.
2:50 PM - 2 Oct 12
Dear huge crowd of people going to see Michael McIntyre at the O2: I am JUDGING YOU.
6:20 PM - 2 Oct 12
@D_Hollingsworth maybe awful man & awful venue cancel each other out?The smugness is diluted by distance?Nah, nothing dilutes THAT smugness.
7:04 PM - 2 Oct 12
So, the St James Theatre... Were they trying to build a hotel, and got a theatre by accident?
7:09 PM - 2 Oct 12
Sleb Spot: Daniel Boys at St James theatre. I know, he lives up the road from me & follows me to Victoria. Stalker.
9:17 PM - 2 Oct 12
Man on tube reading The Casual Vacancy. So *someone* is.
9:52 PM - 2 Oct 12
@Weez her reading out "fuck" in a Westcountry accent on The Culture Show was one of my highlights of the year.
9:58 PM - 2 Oct 12